Brands I swear by

In this flat World we live in ( been readin Friedman's The World is Flat ) , businesses are in a constant frenzy to make sure we keep doing what we love doing - consume. Out of the pile of rubbish products out there, this is my list of "Things and Brands I Swear By, Peksman"

Casio - The G. You might not survive a plane crash but The G-Shock will. A great watch that you can wear around Manila without gettin robbed because its too, well, plastic. Every gadget-man and catastrophy-paranoids should have one.

Doc Martens - When you just cant decide whether to go Friday casual, mall-junkie or whatever lies ahead, the Docs are as rough and refined as any Briton can get. They also last like forever, the Volvo of shoes.

Clorox - cleans anything on contact, i mean anything, this thing is so strong you can actually watch mildew disappear before your eyes. Whitens anything on contact too - most particularly your favorite jeans, shirts and just about every textile you love. The smell, I suggest rinsing really-really well, coz the smell sticks like glue, and you'd end up walkin around smellin like..yup, sperm.

Zwilling Henkels - If you are a cullinary junkie, you will never want to be caught using a dull knife, nor a cheapo one. As Anthony Bourdain puts it - you will be cursed by the kitchen gods if your knife sucks. The knife is a revered instrument for Japanese cooks - where a $2,000 price tag is not unussual. Being the case, JAHenkels plays the chopping board well. Its brittle, so better not use it for fastening screws.

T-FAL - There's a lot of em Teflon covered pans out there, but trust me I've thrown every one of em except for my T-FALS, coz they were the only ones that remained non-stick all throughout.

Pentiums - Twice I had Celeron processors, and twice I've been pissed with it. My recent upgrade was a Celeron D (i thought it meant dual core before) - grinning at the fact that I have 3.2 gigs processing power at a bargain, I felt like my PC is a powerhouse....until I ran games and photoshoped. If you're as much as a nerd as I am, skip Celeron, they keep crashing like its their job.

Made in Japan - anything with this mark seems to top and outlast anything without this mark. I used to tell myself "what's the big deal where it was made??, its the same shit , just different place" ..but I''m now a born-again believer that technology can be transferred, but quality doesnt always come with it.

Leather - Anything leather is beautiful. Being a shoeholic, watchaholic and bagaholic, I have now focused my attention on the upper range of my addiction - yes , leather. They last longer, age beautifully and goes with any fashion statement you're in. Italians still hold this realm, trust them. To authenticate, I've learned to scratch and sniff - if it doesnt scratch its fake, if it doesnt smell like one, then its not. When you suspect a fraud - test burn it, a good 3 seconds wont do leather any harm but would definitely melt faux.

Yoshida Porter Bags - Made by Yoshida & Co. these bags cost like: "two bloody hundred bucks for that!!" , they're often made of plain black textile. Canvass is their signature, but of course its no ordinary one, its as tough as a nail and are made to be passed on to your siblings, and your siblings siblings...whether they like it or not..." Ey Juan, here's a really worn-down canvass bag that I got from your grandfather, you can use it when you go to college"..."oh!, you can also have the Casio after you graduate".

Cupie Mayonaisse and Kikoman Soy Sauce - You havent tasted good mayo til you try this Japanese brand. Sushi aint sushi w/out authentic Jap soysauce.

Sharp,Panasonic, Hitachi and Toshiba (in that order) - The guys that kicked Sony's butt and sent it home with a whimper. It might have taken more than 1 brand to topple Sony's domination of the electronic market, but they sure beat em good. With Sony losing consumers faster than they can pull out their nasty- encoded CDs, this is another lesson in arrogance...no matter how big you are, esp in this new non-boundary info age we live in, you should never piss off consumers.

This list will go on as I further discover more stuff to throw my hard-earned money in. I consume, therefore I am.

Age becometh

Another belief of mine: that everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise.
-- Margaret Atwood, Cat's Eye, 1988

I burned a selection of my favorite 80s music folder and labeled it "You're still listening to that?". I have to , one way or the other , someday, somehow come into terms that I'm getting old.....blink....... every bit of momentary standowns lead to the same generalization - that I'm actually doing things that adults do. I used to wonder why old people love old songs...what's so great about the funky twang of the 70s guitar? Perry Como's hAAAaaaaAAAAA!!!, whats so wonderful about Elvis? .. then one day, a younger friend casually said "Queen is a great "Classic" dude". I almost laughed, but the jolt of reality came faster. My music is slowly easing into the vintage category - I am one of them now, lovers of the past. Add the fact that the only new albums from my favorite groups often begin with: The Best of ......... - and marked 50% off.

Aside from my usual visit to the shoes, watches, bag and electronics sections (a personal agenda on all places that qualifies as a mall). I still visit the Toys section...of course with a snubby pretense that I'm looking for something that is not for me but for a kid I know. As I scan through the rows of my favorite die-cast cars and robot collectibles ....go away already you annoying kids, you cant afford em..I greedily mumble, ... poor old nerd ...they must have been thinkin.

Looking around, I realized that the things I possess havent changed that much, except that now, I actually pay for them and they've just become more expensive.
The liberty of being able to do and buy what you want - this is the only reason I'd never want to be a child again..its fun! Life aint about potholes and suffering shmufferings, its about how much fun you had and you can have...w/out malice of course. I aint gonna live constrained. Freedom!!! FreeeeeeeddOOOOOmmmm!! Life is an inconsolable shiny-happy monster.

Andrew Carnegie. Industrialist, Philantropist.

The U.S. refused to recognize any Philippine right to self-government and on February 4, 1899, Aguinaldo declared war against the United States for denying them independence. Some Americans accused the Filipino nationalists of Jacobinist tendencies, and US government officials repeatedly stated that few Filipinos were in favor of independence, although this conclusion was questioned by some. In the US, there was a movement to stop the war; some said that the US had no right to a land whose people wanted self-government; Andrew Carnegie, an industrialist and steel magnate, offered to buy the Philippines for $20 million and give it to the Filipinos so that they could be free.

I've never heard this from any of my teachers, nor have I ever read its account...until now. I pay tribute to the man and I hope someday Filipinos would know that sometime ago, during US occupation, an American cared for their welfare.

Philippines: Singular or Plural?

I was looking for materials for my NTT studes (ESL lessons), when I chanced on this website that promised to be an English Language website. On one of the lessons, the author tried to explain the use of Definite Articles. He explained: (Italics his)

Remember the rule that countries with two or more parts to their name need
a definite article. This is also true if one part of the country's name is
left unstated:
ex:
The Philippines (the Philippine islands) will get richer soon.

Ok, I spotted something wrong with this example and emailed the webmaster:
To whom it may concern,
The Philippines - is not an unstated form of "The Philippine Islands"
its official name is "The Republic of the Philippines".FYI.
Respectfully, Nelson

from which I got a reply:
Thanks for your point. You are quite right of course in the offical name.
But I think we say "Philippine islands" (no plural) when the reference is
to the seveal thousand islands that make up "The Philippines".
chris

- which just made me a bit annoyed so i replied:
My point is that the word "islands" is not part of the name of my country.
The sample sentence above is referring to the country, not the thousands
of islands that will be getting richer soon (hopefully). Nel

But as resilient as a cheap tsinelas, his reply was:
The reference may be misleading, but the point referred to is the plural 's'
in "The Philippines" - your country is called this with the plural because
it refers to islands, not states as for example in "The United States" - it
may or may not be part of the official name, but the 's' on the end of the
word is because it is a plural. chris

Its getting dumber, so I decided that I'll just give my final comment and leave it all up to him: (putragis na to marunong pa sa may ari eh)

Sir,
First you misquoted the Philippines when you referred to it as "the Philippine islands"in your sample sentence. Then you miss the point that it is a singular noun and not plural .
I assure you, "Philippines" and "The Philippines" is a singular noun, and the "s" is part of the name. if we were communicating 50 years ago I would have agreed with you that "The Philippines" would equally mean "The Philippine Islands", but its 2005 and that's not the case anymore. "The Philippine Islands" is a historical title, a reference to what the country was known before. If you would insist, then we should go back to calling Belize as British Honduras, or Ghana as Gold Coast, or Singapore back to the Stratis Settlements.

Official Name:
Republika ng Pilipinas
short form: Pilipinas
int'l long form: Republic of the Philippines
int'l short form: Philippines

Can you find any "Islands" in the given names above? The "s" is part of the name, not a designation of a plural noun.

You can either read the history of the country or I can point you to Steinberg, David Joel. The Philippines, A Singular and Plural Place. Boulder, Colorado: Westview Press, 2000. Or you can view another grammar website that uses the name as an example of a singular name: http://smccd.net/accounts/sevas/esl/reviewlesson/agree3a.html

And for further clarification:
The Commonwealth of the Philippines constitution remained in effect until 1973. It marked the transition of the nomenclature of the Philippines from the colonial plural ("Islas Filipinas" and "Philippine Islands" of the Spanish and American colonial periods), to the unitary singular, "Philippines" as a sign of unity, sovereignty, and national identity. Respectfully, Nel

I havent received any reply after that, but If he still wouldnt bend to reason...there's always the all-reliable pinoy way to settle a dispute -a brawl. ..which can lead to "ubusan ng lahi", to international dispute..to the US invading the Philippines and since we only have WWII planes against the Stealths and Raptors hence we can always smile and say Mabuhay Ser!! "Welcome to the Philippine Islands". kamote.

The Ghost at San Agustin Church

For I remember walking through the cold, familiar halls, I was with someone who wasnt there.

As we stepped and blened through the shadows, our last setting sun we shared.

I turned to the bench that waited for two, but today, there was just one to take the offer.

The saints whisphered "where is she, where is she?" , I replied, here, inside me.

Hard to see, but she was there that day... I wish, I wish she'd go away.

Episode III (Taxi 3)

I was thinking of a satired Star Wars title for my third and final article about my lampooned vacation, but it just wouldnt fit... Taxi - the movie, now that's really an action-packed, mind-perplexing- B movie- in-all-its- glory that I'd love not to see again, entertaining and silly... just like the story that goes like this...

There's an old saying that if you come back to the place where you became a man, you will remember all those things you need to be happy... That saying never made sense to me, but I thought it was worth a try.
-- Henry Bromel, Northern Exposure

I went out with my buddy and his family to Star City - an amusement center in Roxas Blvd.... Insert reminiscing scene here....back then, when the world was young and Michael Jackson was still black, Yuletide was rejoined by the opening of these huge carnivals, there was "Payanig sa Pasig", "Big Bang sa Alabang"... we were hoping for a "Dagundong sa Mandaluyong" but that was only wishful thinking. These "peryas" (fairs) used to have freak shows like "See the Incredible Mermaid caught in Palawan" - she's not always pretty, but probaby because of Western influences, she must always be doned in her long-golden-wavy hair that is teasingly arranged to cover her nipples (double-sided tape?) and wearing a not-so-convincing fish outfit on the lower half of her body. it was actually my first exposure to live nudity. I think freak shows are wicked. Anyway, the big unpaved carnivals were always packed, the lines stretched to oblivion, the machines were rusty and forebearing but we didnt care, "never postpone happiness" was our motto. These places used to be the highlight of Christmas, one can never be complete without being able to share these experiences with friends. You misss it, you're a loser.

Anyway, back to the present, So there I was, hoping to get a slight feel of the past...waiting...still waiting...hold on...dang, its just not the same anymore. Hellooow, maybe because its May and its brutally hot, or maybe because the whole place is cemented, or because the mermaid show is gone, or maybe the worst of all my fears have come...Im an ADULT...ngiii..shivers. Star City was probably nice when it was new. But now, I wont vouch for it unless you have a good tolerance for stench. The rides were more for kids. The thing I enjoyed however was the "Chicharon Bituka" stall (deep fried crunchy pig intestines) ..barbaric? not until you try one! this treat, in all its greatness is the ultimate source of bad fat, it has a smell that only fish sauce users can love. Dipped in spicy vinegar ~ Nirvana ~.

The ride home was actually the one that thrilled me the most. Here was a cab with 3 adults and 3 children inside, zig-zagging at land speed record on the narrow and dark streets of Sta.Ana. At every intersection and corners I was unconsciously pushin my non-existent brake pedals. The car's winkers are relatively useless in Manila as no one uses them. Finally when I cant take it anymore, i blurted to the driver "buddy, I really dont understand why there is a need to hurry, are we chasin somethin?" ... of which I got a stone-face reply. We took another cab.

Taxis, bus, jeepneys, private vehicles, everyone drives like mad. Amazingly though, there are not much accidents , I agree that this may be because Filipinos are very good in swerving and squeezing in tight spaces, but it is a grave mistake to brand that as good driving. Good Drivers have discipline, they follow the rules, even with ot without the element of punishment. Good driving is not just about good handling of a vehicle but more of being mindful of everything else outside the vehicle like pedestrians, other vehicles and traffic order.

The driving attitude in Manila relatively reflects the attitude of the Filipino as a culture; everyone wants to be ahead, everyone wants to beat the pack, everyone will grab any opportunity - it doesn't matter that others may be harmed as long as it benefits them. In Manila a driver would flash their headlights to another vehicle to indicate "Im going first" , In Japan this is the same signal for "you go first" - an exact contrast. Discipline is not related to being rich nor poor, educated or not... it is a universal gesture for Courtesy and Respect...maybe its because when we were young, we were taught to respect our parents and the elders, they did not mention though that we were supposed to respect everybody else too. Paraaa , sa tabi na lang po.

Moments of Decision

A feather landed on your girlfriend's shoulder:

A. You pick it out and show it to her and say "hey, look you're turning into an angel"
B. You pick it out and show it to her and say "hey, look you're turning into a chicken"

If you choose:
A - this means you are a hopeless romantic...and bloody boring.
B - this means you are full of fun and you dont know the aftermath of this comment. Be prepared.

Nelis Milkfish (To the tune of Kelis' Milkshake)

My Milkfish brings all the pinoys to the yard, and they're like , more bayabas than yours, Damn right more bayabas than yours, I can give you but I have to charge.

First Aid

+ Problem: Sleepy probably
Symptoms: Twitching Eye
Cure: 3M clear tape
Indication: Cut an inch of 3M Office Standard clear tape, plaster half to eye lid, other half to eyebrow.
Contraindication: In case twitching persist, secure more tape around eye. In events where boss or snooping co-workers suddenly jumps from behind like they always do, immediately raise hand to forehead as if having a headache. Repeat procedure when necessary.
Precaution: Do not pull out tape quickly, this action will cause severe humiliation as patient walks around with a half shaved eyebrow.

Episode 2 (A bag full-o' Clones)

From a country far, far away.....the second episode of my vacation...

I had it all scheduled from day one, first of course was my visit to my father's grave..."you should've waited", I stubornly told him for the nth time..again. Then a courtesy call to relatives and friends... amazing thing, Time is, ..fat, bald, sexy, ugly, kinder, meaner...everybody changed.
Then to the task at hand - Shopping, what's a visit to PI without going to the malls. Megamall is still damn huge, no matter how long I stayed in it, I always leave with my satisfaction meter half empty...dont start on me with that half full thingie, its always gonna be half empty. My cousin, who was also vacationing from LA said, "look at 'em, its 3pm, its mid-week, and they're all here...so...jobless." I giggled...pause....hmmm...that's sad. It must have been the heat. I gave up Megamall, too many people, too little time.

Off to Greenhills, where anything that is less..is the price, and the quality. Its imitation heaven...like eBay, except its real. Who cares, as my best friend puts it " it doesnt matter if you're wearing the authentic one or not, because in Manila, fakies are so common that most of the time people would think you're wearing a fake, even if its the real thing." At Greenhills the game is all about knowing how to spot good forgeries and haggling, talents I believed I am very good at.

I bought a $25.00 Armani bag, the saleslady said its real leather, i didnt mind the brand, I only wanted a leather bag...two days later the seams split and revealed a very not-so-leather inner Iining. The DVD movies I bought, when played, had tiny silhouette heads bobbing around, add the laughing crowd in the echoing sound and It beats Dolby Surround in realism- like you're really there..inside the theater that is. An Anti-Virus program I bought didnt even have anything in it, the list goes on. Its was all like buying an Ipod, that broke, and when you tried to pry it open, revealed a mini a cassete recorder inside..double whammy.

"You moron", my buddy tells me as I closed with what I thought was a good deal. All The tell-tale signs of a deceitful sale was there: the speed at which my item was wrapped as soon as i offered my price, the look of glee from the other sales ladies and the frenzy to show their other stuff made me realize my buddy was right. I caught on it later... when the price gets right, they act as if the sale would be a loss on their part, this keeps the haggling nailed within that price and then they act like bitterly giving in, buyer feels happy he outsmarted them. Stupid buyer.

One should take this as the final lesson when going cheap. Fakes are fakes, it will always get back at you with a frustrating reminder that when you go with forgeries you also expose yourself to its meaner cousins: Lies and Deceit. ...makes me wanna spell it deceipt...That is the risk I took and I cant complain because I was an accessory to the crime. Quality comes with a premium. In the long run, I think I actually spent more for things that I used only once because it broke, already in bad shape or just plain unbearably ugly now. Stupid buyer.

Episode 1 (The panting menace)

From Okinawa to Taipei at a perfect 26 degrees....Manila Airport...the last door on the way out ...final baggage number check...as I stepped out from the last guard, the last continuity of my flight, whoooshhh the heat~~~ tangina and inniiiiiitttt!!!!!!! (sonofabitchy hottt!!!(I dont curse..but this time it was even an understatement).

Well, its Manila's way of saying "welcome my prodigal son, welcome to the hard reality of your past". "Sir mineral water??" a stranger blurted. "Taxi Sir??" I nodded, "Thank you Sir...a few gifts from your kindness would suffice for our mid-day snack"..the porter said in a rehersed tone. I gave him $2.00. As I eased myself in the cab, I requested for the AC to be in full blast, the driver replied "todo na po ser" (its in the max sir, ..honorifics included) then a funky slogan plays in the radio "kailangan pa ba ime-morize yan"..then the slogan is rejoined with a jingle.... a jingle that will eventually haunt me to all my taxi-riding days in Manila. Day one, objective: get to my buddy's place before i get killed with the high-speed, non-regulated driving in EDSA, or dehydration... whichever comes first.

New Order / Waiting for the Siren's Call


They're back!! they might be gramps now but heck you cant tell the difference. I heard "Krafty" when I was shopping at a shoe depo and I was like.. eyyy thats my band...(like its mine)...which album?? ... then it struck me...could it be... no, really could it be???

As soon as I got home I frantically searched for NO fresh released album...and there it was. Dernit! Its been more than 25 years... i wonder what their grandchildren think...grampa has a techno what??? or...my grampa plays the bass in New Order..cool!! and these guys can still kick techno-post punk music. I immediately scheduled my after-work hours to a CD quest at Book Box or Tsutaya Music for this album...dang! in Japan...what are the chances of them havin it....zero.

Luckily, this week my girlfriend went on one of her Tokyo trips, having access to US mil PX, she managed to find it..fforward >>... After downloading it to my iPod, I let it blow on my PC speakers ...whew, unmistakenly New Order, the familiar bass melody and rhytm guitar, the techno punk effects, electronic drum beats and that close-to-wailing-off-tune voice of Bernard Sumner. It was just like any other NEW Order album, un-aging, worth every penny, uneasy to get sick of and fun...its like "Techno-kids, I am your Father" music.

I cant share my glee enough with my peers...what peers?? Im in Japan. Im surrounded by older-than-me people who thinks Hawaiian music is Jazz, I have a few younger-than-me friends... but they think anything from the 80s is a Classic. Suddenly I find myself in my mom's shoes as she tries to convince me that the Beatles is the coolest ever. period.

The Cure, New Order...the 80s - this was my era. .. as the 60s, 70s, 90s, etc. .were for other people. My music is welded in me, no matter how good the old were and the new ones become, the music that I grew up with will always be the best. It doesnt just bring me back old memories, it confirms my bonafide membership to the world...which there was an era I can proudly say that I belong. Confirming Existence. Check.

On being John Malkovich

Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich. Malkovich? Malkovich, Malkovich!
Posted by Jerry Kindall on April 19, 2004 at 1:05 PM

Jerry, thanks for the "Being John Malkovich" reference. That made me laugh out loud.
PS, Oh, and in answer to your statement: Malkovich; Malkovich...Mal-kovich, dammit!
Posted by Jim on April 19, 2004 at 1:30 PM

Office Defibrillators

I have always wanted to do this, hold em heart-starter thingies, rub em together and say "clear!!"...glance at monitor and say "damnit man, we're losing him",... "clear!!!..bzzzzttttttt~.

We have that thing installed in the hallway. Its a bright funky-green gadget housed in a "break glass in case you have to bring a dead person to life" box. But Lo! Before you decide to break the glass you have to at least be certified to operate that thing. They dont want you to be zapping dead people's butt or other body parts, or worse frying them unintentionally.

Ok, I agree with that...but suppose some lame guy suddenly dropped dead in front of me, do I:
A.Give him CPR... ewww ..good thing I'm not certified.
B.Call 911, the nearest hospital is about 4km..too late.
C.Run around the building looking for that certified defibrillator prick...if there is one.
D.Drag his lifeless butt near the "Automated External Defibrillator" , break glass open and apply electrocution process...with joy.
E. Stay put, act like you thought he just fell asleep (literally).

If I'm wise enough I'd probably choose E. This seems to be the most weasel-like of the choices, threfore would land me in a safe-unblameable position.To free myself from guilt, I'd probably enrol myself in the "How to pronounce Automated External Defibrillator and Cardio Pulmonary Rescucitation Course"...next time same incident happens, I'll be a tad bit ready. Technology...and ignorance wont do much.

A steady night shot, full apperture opening, zoomed from the 3rd floor, reflecting light from parking lot. 

Joining the transparent background project, Nelson proves that if one nerd can do it, so can the rest. 

Puzzling Dream

The dream started when I saw myself with a rocket-propelled grenade aimed at a convoy of renegade trucks, I squeezed the trigger and hit a big truck which was piggy-backing an old red volkswagen beetle. Realizing the grave stupidity of my action: any moment now the foot soldiers will definitely find the perpetrator...umm that would be..me! fuck the others, i ran for my dear life... I took the river trail, dogs cant sniff me out from there i was thinking..then I remembered something...ummm I felt I left something, what was it??...Ooops, my girlfriend. She is in the secret room of the house. I went back...was caught...held hostage or prisoner of war, and here is the interesting part: As I was being pushed around the house, I came face to face with the "secret door that leads to the secret room" Instinctively I would have looked or touched it , but I didnt because I was strictly focused on thinking what were they up to in letting me wander around the house freely. In a flash, I realized they were trying to find the secret door just by observing my movements. So with my quick wit I glanced blankly everywhere not giving any reaction to anything.

The dream went crazy after this, with my officemates joining the hostages, then they decided to re-design the curtains of the house, cellphones were confiscated except for mine because the rebel leader (who happened to be a gorgeous fashion designer) liked me., a tsunami hit, the building collapsed, I visited an old elementary classmate who was part of the hostage crisis and was rattled awake because damn its 0630 uggh! gonna be late for work.

As I recalled the dream while driving on the way to work I realized something. Characters in our dreams are made by our minds, they think and act according to what we know, believe and think. But why, o why didnt I know that trick. I have no recollection where I got this idea of finding out clues by observing a persons action. Ive never been to boot camp, never been in the military and the closest I got to any counter intelligence stuff is by watching spy movies. That was something new I learned there. Freaks me out this dream. It was fluid, fast and impromptu. Dreams are freaky but this one has got me thinking.

On Feet

She's wearin strap sandals today... and there it was, gorgeous feet... the most gorgeous feet I have ever seen. Jap-white complexion, and I'll be darn if it aint well cared for coz it really looks almost buttery. I aint got any feet fetish whatsoever, but when i saw her feet during lunch ..It was so attractive.. i wanted to put it on my plate...strange thing what this "Attraction" does, but feet??

On Empathy

Here are two contrasting issues; Terri Schiavo and the overwhelming publicity it is getting, the other, the truth of other deaths taking place.

For quite a while a lot of people (in the US primarily) were into this empathic-frenzy over the fate of one vegetative-state patient. Suddenly it seems like everyone cared about the life of one individual. People flocked the hospital to show their support, they called on the President, the Governor, the Senate, they threatened, they cursed, they prayed, they wept ..they were gadamn gonna be there to save the life of Terri. Empathy.

Time magazine, March 14, 2005; "There are 8 million people a year who die just because they too poor to live". Now, in the light of all this mumbo-jumbo I see something plain...These people flocked to show their concern on the life of one, one who never needed it... but ignored the call of 8 million souls begging for help. Hypocrisy.

stoopidddd 

Things that keep the world in order

Inspired by the Flickr.com gig: What's in your bag?

· The tin case - (upper right), holds the paperworks, passbooks, passport, insurance, Inkan (Jap personal stamp) This case keep the things that attest to the truth of my existence, without em I walk among the dead...Nelshawn of the Dead.
· Pillbox - Because this mortal suit sometimes functions erratically out of sync.
· Cellphone – Because I didn’t come with a tracking device.
· Digital Camera – Because it can capture and explain a more realistic visual rendering of an event far better than my brain could.
· Ze iPod - Because music is a great company, now all of em can tag along.
· An Electronic organizer – Because it was advertised to put all of humanity's wants (not needs) in one nifty package...it has a camera(not that great), video camera(sucks), mp3 player(plays only with stoopid memory stick), Organizer (excellent!, but I found out that I actually have no use for it).
.100 yen multi-purpose tool - commonly referred to as "Swiss Knife". – Because I didn’t come with Wolverine’s adamantium claws…sigh.
. Inside the pouches – a 2.5 inch 6Gb Hard Drive – Because some of my computer junk wouldn’t fit on a USB Stick, A paperback and a PSP– Because idleness happens.

As I look into my bag I've come to admit to myself that yes, I've become a gullible consumer, I've bitten the fruit of materialism and taken its promises that I cant possibly live without these things...and in the course of all these conditioning, I really felt the coffee-like dependence. The bag carries the things that help me connect – to my social needs, to systems, to culture, to fashion and to all the needs that the great geek A. Maslow stated. My bag tells me who and what I am...not completely, but its in that ballpark. Geek!!

Ginataan for the Wandering Soul

Do not think of knocking out another person's brains because he differs in opinion from you. It would be as rational to knock yourself on the head because you differ from yourself ten years ago. -- Horace Mann

As lunch time progresses, everyone's eager to see what i have for the day. Being the only non-supervisory-guy-who-eats-lunch-with-the-rest-of-us, I also happen to be the only foreigner within the group. I was raised in the Philippines...therefore I cook Filipino ...duh. As always, everybody awaits then tries whatever weird stuff I have for the day. They've come accustomed to: Adobo - a vinegar-soy sauce based viand, Sinigang - a clear sour soup, and Tinola - your regular chicken soup with ginger, Longganiza (sausage) and Tocino (sweetened pork). Other than these, I try to limit my lunch menu into non-offensive-smelling cullinaries. There are certain rules/adjustments that I have learned as far as my cooking/food intake is concerned:

1. Patis - Unless you are a Thai, Indonesian or Filipino, fish sauce is not welcome in any place where people breathe.
2. Bagoong - shrimp paste is as worse as 1.
3. Filipino taste is extreme. Shake the salt down.
4. Tuyo -dried anchovies shares the fate of 1 and 2.
5. Avocado in Japan is to soy sauce , as it is to condensed milk in the Philippines.
6. Oil is not a basic ingredient, and yes, you can fry food without the unnecessary oil depth.
7. Animal fat and oil should be avoided like its some kind of a potbelly-inducing ingredient...it is.
8. Potato and Rice whatever the manner it is cooked is as redundant as eating tinapay-palaman fried rice.
9. Dinuguan - Swine blood in vinegar, is considered a barbaric and just plain eeky food... I can only eat it alone, at home...with the lights off.

My taste buds were honed in the carinderias of Manila, therefore its highly accustomed to extreme tastes; really sweet, salty, sour, or spicy. But in time, as I have learned to adopt to the Japanese cuisine (which is by my first impression, bland), I've relearned to identify the natural tastes of food.

Magoro-toro (a pricey fatty Tuna) sushi for example, has a lot of stages in taste. From the time it enters your mouth to the time you swallow it...the first experience after dipping on the Jap-brewed soy sauce is its salty and alcohol-like fermented spirit spreading on your tongue, then as you chew, the creamy fat of the fish spreads out, making the taste totally indescernible from that of an Avocado (mentally connect to no. 5), then the raw Tuna taste kicks in, followed by the nasal arrest of the horse-radish...you pause to take a deep breath from your nostrils to ease the wasabi tang, then back again to the enjoyment of the whole sushi as its taste conjures up into one dynamic sensation. But in contrast, I used to remember how Aling Ising's Sinigang tastes like... sour...dip to Patis..salty..ease away with rice, repeat.

I still enjoy authentic Filipino food. But now, it just became a tad bit too tasty. The Ginataang Hipon that I used to order at the Fil resto here , as I have realized lately, was really salty ...they didnt change the recipe, my taste has changed...and maybe my perception of food, and perhaps ...life itself.

The book was featured in Time magazine, it talks about first impressions, instantaneous judgment... something in the lines of - "analyzing events, actions or a person's character in a whim". Bought it, skeptical about it at first as the author starts to talk to me like Im a gullible kid, ...further down the chapter all skepticism were dismissed...this book should not make it to your bookshelf. Its got great reviews but it just didnt taste right. Uncooked book. Its like your grand father telling you great stories about his life, part of it you believed, part of it you thought was just added exaggeration to fire interest to the story...but this book inclined itself more on the latter. Gladwell being a writer for The New Yorker , a Marketing guru (as articles say of him) ...makes me suspect he's using his skills to get people to buy his stuff.. indecent..you bad, bad writer you.

A Forest

Come closer and see
See into the trees
Find the girl
While you can
Come closer and see
See into the dark
Just follow your eyes
Just follow your eyes

I hear her voice
Calling my name
The sound is deep
In the dark
I hear her voice
And start to run
Into the trees
Into the trees

Into the trees

Suddenly I stop
But I know it's too late
I'm lost in a forest
All alone
The girl was never there
It's always the same
I'm running towards nothing
Again and again and again

The Cure

Late nite family calls

So warmed up was my bed, on a chilly night nothing beats a goose down blanket... then the mobile rang...,its either mom or my sis, if its mom I'd predict shed want me to drop by and get some food she made...if it was sis, then shes most likely to have discovered a new way to make her skin better and she would want to share the precious discovery. I glanced at the screen ...its sis. I tried to sound bed-ready...and said " yep??", and she went, "hey boy, its like 10 o'clock even my kids are still awake"...then I went " well your kids dont go to work at 7", then she went, "I sleep at 1am and wake up early to prepare for the hubby and kids", and I threw back my infamous one liner, " Well, you chose that life, I chose this one™". Thats the usual salutation to a wonderful late night call from sis. So the topic tonite:"Meri Discovers That Things Happen for a Reason (Patent pending)". She was so happy to recount her teenage days and connect them to meaningful present co-existences...( buy her a Celestine Prophecy book for her bday).

I just let her babble through it. I can sense her stress, her bacteriaphobia, acrophobia, aviatophobia and all the other fears that dwell in her seeped through the entire conversation.
Girls have to talk, its either they talk or they're gonna be walking time bombs. After realizing that my mobile has started to melt, I just had to tell her good nite and I'd call her if I have some discoveries of my own. Well, as for me, its comforting enough to be reminded that with a discovery or not, I have a family who I can turn to anytime, at any hour of any day.

Sour Balls

After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
-- Cato the Elder

Employee Recognition day. Frustrated 'cause got none.
I think the object of the game is to flaunt and thicken your broth, all cosmetic, and frankly, pathetic. Der Supervisor got the award..no, really I'm happy...not that because she got it, but because she credited us for it, and that makes a mighty big difference.
Today, out of the multitudes of bogus awardees, before me stands a decent one.
Der Supervisor deserves our love....p.s. my grapes aint that bloody sour 'eh?

The Mocking Past

Tis the time when Principles become the root of suffering,
a time when Idealism is stained with the politics of needs.
It is now that Religion, again is used for destroying.
Murder, devastation and hatred, believed to be noble deeds.

It is this time that we regress to the old verse,
when justice becomes again, "An eye for an Eye".
Whilst the morals of man is in full reverse,
all the grandeur of our advances are but a sigh.

With our puny claims as the greatest of all generations,
dear History had just been repeated.
The kings and gods of time forgotten laughs at our dellusions,
for we have never really left off from where we started.

Made by Two

They were dysfunctional.
They werent together, but they were always there.
I dont really know Ginko enough , but she tried.
Nick is funny and we have common friends and buddies.
I became like them in some ways...I tried to pick only the good stuff.
Despite a disability, I was not cradled with compassion...
They held back, knowing well that helping me will only render me brittle in life.
That, I say to the world is Love. To the two, a good person i became because of you.

i'm-mature

When will I learn. Im getting that “tied up” feeling again - with a perfectly fine relationship. I just miss being alone now. I miss being able to paint with just music to accompany me. I miss eating by the PC, I miss going out shopping and getting completely mindless about the time, I miss dancing like stoopid and laughin at how silly I look, I miss staying in the library halls just jumping around one topic to another for as long as I can endure, driving around the island lookin for someplace to explore…and , getting lost..and scaring myself silly..awouuu~~

But back then when I was alone, I was in the opposite mindset, often lost in thoughts on how great it would be to have somebody to share my thoughts, my intimate details, someone who’ll help me see things in a different light, .... Thats what the 80s can do to you.

Is there such thing as a perfect relationship? Soul mate-shmould-mate? Is it always a compromise…does it have to be? Is it plainly simple to see that single-hood is just the perfect state if you are on the free-spirited side of life? What’s so great about marriage anyway? I need enlightenment. I need a vacation… Or I just need to grow up.

My space, my freedom. Is it because of the Gemini thingy???... do you know its pronounced as je-mee-knee.. gemini cricket..gemini snicket

Somethin's burnin'

We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered.-- Tom Stoppard, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead.

I know I have to do it, Its either I dont want to do it or Im too lazy to do it. Either way, I will force myself to rid of haunting pasts, the one that got away, the one that made a terrible mess, the investor who stole my money, her smile..i'd wish Faith would stop haunting me, the things I could have done, the things I have done..that I wish I have not, and all the could haves and the should haves.

Burn bridges to make new ones...I must let go and start anew , I have reinvented myself a million times, I was a geek teen turned punk-turned geek again-turned-anarchist-turned-pious-turned smart-ass banker-turned-merchant-turned-academic-turned web merchant. Now, im just a plain office geek. I am in perfect order right now, well oiled, but somehow I feel chaos is gonna be bangin at my door screaming "Its due!!" ...not that I wanted it to come nor I am subconsciously attracting it, but sometimes I think a little chaos can put things back in a much interesting order - oh what irony.... burning bridges, burning bridges ...and its fallin' down, fallin' down.

This mortal Coil. 

The Legend of 2004

The year came in quickly and left just the same. I have a serious problem with time, I see it as just one continuous event, divided into 3 parts: a moment ago, now and the next credit card bill. I would never remember dates but im keen on remembering the details of an event. I used to photograph a collage of all the things that represent the year that was... I would put together things i wear daily (watches, silvers, etc, except undies dummy) things i cant live without, things i love and bought from that year.. it was a very nice and effective way to remember that year for me... now if only I can remember wher I placed those pics.

This year I screwed up in the office big time. I sent a supposed to be anonymous email to the CEO... how big is he? "Asst Chief of Staff" is the first few words on his job title... I expressed my distress blatantly, telling him the system sucks, Management is soo incompetent and I told him to talk with the staff and front people to know the reality of things. It was anonymous but it still was a very professional Jerry Mcguire stint. But as stooopid as I was, the email return address showed my name. Boy was I caught red handed, my boss, who is two levels below the CEO called me in, read the email verbatim on my face... gaspp!!~ wheeeze~~chest tightening~ I was teary eyed and braced for the worse. Well, I did not defend my case and regretted all the stuff i said... I was not fired. I whined, but I also offered solutions, I guess that made the difference.

This year I got my Jap driver's license. It was a real pain. I failed on the first driving test, well, everybody else does. It was Japanese culture at work, precision. I failed because I did not turn my winker on within 30 metres upon approaching a turn... I did it in maybe 12 meters..thats like the length of two cars. Its good at least I nabbed it on the second try. Most foreigners who were taking the test were on their 6th to 9th take. Its still way better compared to the locals who were mandated to attend and finish a 4k worth of driving school. Damn thats 4000 buckos and they still are just student drivers after that. They are being robbed blind, I got my Phil license for $10 , lunch included.

Bush got re-elected..you want wood??, boy that cracked me up and made me like him a bit. His strength of conviction is unparalleled, it makes him. Arafat died, I dont know exactly what it has to do with me, but hes cool too. Che Guevara is not a brand...but everyones got em printed everywhere, Andy Warhol's principle is making sense to me now. Ipod got cheaper, thanks Steve, now youre not as greedy as I thought. Starbucks is everywhere, used to be cool to hang out there, not anymore, when you see families holed in those small tables and chairs you start to wonder... are they selling fries soon? Gadgets keep updating..fast!. My camera was top of the line 8 months ago, now its on sale at half the price...which makes me want to get the latest ones...they've got me!! gakkk!! Im a certified gullible consumer!!

2004 is gone, it doesnt make much difference to me. I started my New Year when I learned how to think, and in my world, New Year's Eve wil be when I close my eyes and never open them again.