A Country of Our Own

This might just be the answer to the Philippines' worsening situation.

David Martinez believes that the nation-state is dead. I believe it never had a chance to develop. Both students of the "Philippine phenomenon," we see the past and the present in the same light, and differ only on the probable outcome of what appears to be an imminent, self-fulfilling implosion.

Martinez makes no claim that his is the only, or the total, truth, but those he identifies
and dissects lie at the heart of our malaise. His overall perspective is refreshingly honest. It singularly challenges most of the other "truths" that have been conventionally conditioned into the population by our ruling elite. His is the voice of veracity, one certain to upset all who insist that the nation-state exists, or that it will survive and evolve while its character and configuration remain in the exclusive hands of those who have traditionally held the reins of power and controlled the resources of the country.

Reflecting on the variety of social, economic, and religious impositions inflicted on our people for 450 years, Martinez and I find our deepest agreement in condemning our ruling elite's self-serving [and self-defeating] practice of enforcing conformity in the guise of achieving unity. The diversity of our vibrant and distinct cultures, which has always defined Philippine society, should have been --- and ought to be --- the source of national strength. Martinez is right: history cannot be edited to serve the ends of arbitrary nationalism. A "na-tional language" ought not be coerced on our various cultures at the expense of our other indigenous tongues; nor should the greed of the few outweigh the needs of the many. To achieve nation-state status and solidarity, cultural identity must be honored and cultural uniqueness promoted until the best of each becomes a light unto itself and to others. Instead, our diverse cultures have been subjected to policies designed to privilege one and marginal-
ize the rest, deepening rather than bridging divisions that affirm Martinez's view that we are less of a nation today that we were a century ago.

Local, national, and global dynamics compel us to seriously re-evaluate our present-day formats of governance, economics, and social justice. More profoundly, they compel us to reflect even deeper on the social norms and values which ought to shape our choices. An ominous, defining crisis of unprecedented proportions looms before us, whose outcome will confirm or disprove the views that Martinez and I happen to coincidentally hold. My own hope is that the Philippines will survive, the pain of this crucial catharsis etching the lessons of past mistakes into our collective soul. I believe in my heart that this is immensely achiev- able, but only if we heed and learn from the provocative truths so well laid out in this chal- lenging book.

Jose Ma. "Boy" Montelibano
Spokesman, COPA [Council on Philippine Affairs]
and Philippine Daily Inquirer Online [INQ7] Columnist

Ace Ventura's

I never knew there really is such thing ... was it part of the pun after all?

I went bumblebeetuna! to everyone in the office while flashing it...and i think they all thought I was weird...wait, they already thought that way even b4.

For those not on the know, watch Ace Ventura II- When Nature Calls.

MANILLA SKY

My celphone rang and a name in my address book that I never thought I still have was on the display. I quickly answered and the caller casually asked if I wanted to have a walk at the malls today. I was speechless for a little while, trying to conjure a logical explanation to what was happening - as this person would never in her existence, call me, ever... but, I was quite glad to hear that voice again, and I simply responded that I'd meet with her any time. We decided to meet at the Greenhills shopping center. How romantic can I get - I realized a moment later.

She was a little chubby-er than I used to remember, but she still has that disarming smile and the sense of homely comfort that only close friends can give. At that brief moment, all the years gone by were bridged; creating continuity in my present...and it didn't seem that long anymore. I asked her quickly, trying to get straight to the point, as her answer was all that matters that moment, "I thought you were going to get married soon?"... silence...she blankly stared back. I realized I actually didn't ask the question. Hearing the truth probably would not mean much but bring me back to the pang of reality.

We walked along, like we used to. Looking at the clothes, shoes, bags, sharing out quips on the design, the price - unimportant filler words. "I wish we can stay a bit longer", I said. Then she gibed at her watch and I instinctively followed and realized it has only been 3 minutes. "Well, I meant, do this often". She just smiled. Her silence was loud, a muted concierto of what was going inside her head. I still didnt know where to start. She checked her phone and said, "I have to hurry back home and prepare the things I'll bring on my trip".

We jumped into a cab and when we came at her house, her mother was at the front door, looking very glad to see me. She greeted; "thank you for coming over, grandma has been asking about you all this time". I went to grandma who was staring at a distance and kissed her on the forehead. "Where have you been and where are you going, sir?" she asked. I politely replied that I have been quite busy but will try to visit more often. She smiled.

Her mother's eyes were saying; "yes, you two would have made a good couple, a perfect one indeed, but I am sorry that I do not know why you are not". Her acceptance of the situation was admirably sweet. We walked around their neighborhood and I asked, "I emailed you a lot of times, trying to re-connect, but you never replied". She snapped back, "but even if I replied, what good would that do? You are thousands of miles away while my fiance has been right here with me all the time." A concise reply that will probably hole up in one of those rooms in my head - and one whole truth to bring everything back into perspective. "I am going away where you will never see me again," she added. I think I knew that a long time ago but the romantic in me kept holding to a fantasy that this must be a good story that usually ends happily ever after.

"I need to get some water for the house, can you come with me down the village to fill up the containers?," she asked. I told her that it would be easier if we rent a tricycle, load the containers and just pay the driver the cost for everything. She hailed one passing by and I asked the driver how much the task would cost. The tricycle driver replied, pointing with his lips, 50 pesos for that 10 galon container... I was a bit hesitant but then gave in as I found the time with her more precious than 5 pesos per galon of water. I reached for my wallet and as I raised my head back, she was gone. I looked around, ran back to the house, but found no one there too, I glanced back at the tricycle and it too had gone.... piiii-piii-piii-piiii-piiii-piiiii - my alarm clock went.... I opened my eyes, dazed, and gave a sigh.

On realizing dreams...and the Return of Eternal Child

Ever since Bandai started out anew the Chogokin (Diecast) series, I was already praying for my favorite heroes to be revived. Die cast toys especially of the anime kind are unique to Japan and can be traced as far back as the early 70s. Chogokin which means super-alloy (what Mazinger Z was supposed to be made of) was popoularly introduced by Popy(later Bandai). In the 70s to the 80s, Japan's robot anime was on-air on almost all continents.

In the Philippines, anime was relentlessly streamed accross the airwave. To name some that i remembered; Mazinger Z, Voltes V, Daimos, Mekanda, Jeeg, UFO Grendizer (Goldrake in Europe) , Getter, Danguard Ace, Candy Candy, Heidi, Yamato , Macross,etc. Thanks to then President Marcos, it all came into a halt. That was the first time I remembered having concerned myself with politics.

Voltes V, Daimos and Mazinger Z were the three fore runners of the anime saga, at least from my perspective. Each having its own twist of drama and the most often predictable but still enjoyable fighting sequence, which I still know by heart (much like Fernando Poe Jr. getting beaten at first and rallying at the end to beat hthe bad guys) . Every kid in my block and at school would die to have a robot replica - which at that time only came in its original imported source and at an exhorbitant price. We had a schoolmate who had the Voltes V set and all the rest of us poor chaps can do was talk about how cool it is and how it can actually snap together to form a robot. It was the holy grail of toys. We pretty much managed with posters and stickers.

And now, behold, Bandai started churning out these Chogokins on the toy shelves again, re-introducing the robot heroes of our past. First came Mazinger Z GX-01- the all time favorite in Japan, then the series moved on with UFO Grendizer, Combatra V (the precursor of Voltes) , Getter Robot, and so on. I waited and prayed for Voltes V, and last year, prayers were answered as toy magazines announced the protoype GX-30. The international release date was May 22, 2006. I got it on the 20th : ).

And though it came 3 decades late for me....it still came. Dreams do come true.

On moving out to move on

What do you pack to pursue a dream, and what do you leave behind?
—Sandra Sharpe


Last week I officially started my new life living on my own. Yeah, i know it took a while but at least I finally did it. I now live at a 3rd floor flat called Leopalace21, where residents are mostly the "not permanently settled" - students, long term vacationists, long term appointments, still dont know what to do with life, etc. The setting is a single's pad, with all the convenience molded into it. It is has an above average cost for such a small 28sqm flat, but quite makes up for the furnishings like an IH stove, modular tub and bath with built in clothes dryer - yup you get to hang your clothes dry in the bathroom, video intercom- which I really dont find useful unless i'd love chatting with a visitor that way. The location is quite perfect too as it stands just right accross a chain of small-scale malls. I can actually walk my way to the electronics store and bookstore at my pleasure...and I'd be there too frequently, that the staff may soon get to greet me with my name!

This moving out thingy, although a bit late for Japanese and American standard, (I am turning 34 on Wed, arghh), can be virtually unobserved in the Philippines, as siblings often stay with their parents before marriage and sometimes even after. I would assume financial capacity playing more part in it more than culture does bacause family members can utilize finances better if they can share expenses. Of course those who can afford it would find themselves living separately from their parents. So i'd debunk that generalization that Filipinos are a very close knit family... they would, if they could get away from each other as this is how nature intends it.

I moved for a lot of different reasons, to find myself, to look back, to learn life in a different perspective. Into each life one must find himself at a crossroads, one leading to the beaten path of comfortable redundancy , the other an immeasurable distance of the unknown - i'd choose surprises all the time.

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable."
-Sidney j. Harris

Music

I am Robot and Proud
The Electricity in Your house wants to Sing

A great portion of Electronic-pop playfully criss-crossing into the New Age genre, with R2D2 on the vocals, calm and loose, this group has the right recipe worth taking for a spin. I get easily dumbed with repetitive tunes from the likes of Chemical Brothers and other techno music...and think to myself "you sing that line one more time and I swear I'll >> to the next song".

I am Robot and Proud sure is a strange name for a band, and I cant help but connect my thoughts into Asimov's laws and tinker on the use of "Robot' as a proper noun. It is in the lines of Kraftwerk but not as experimental and neither as demanding as Bjork's electronic inuendos. The slight use of traditional instruments gives more variety to the tunes - which,I am glad, is not limited to the synthesizers. I almost purchased the entire album on iTunes but held back as it may be just a few minor hits and a lot of misses, but as I listened to it at work it just blended in with the whirring of a set-to-high-resolution-scanner, the erratic keyboard strokes of my officemate and that buzzing noise that gossips create a few meters away. With that kind of band name, rejoined with that blatantly playing-with-your-mind album title, what it spells is what it actually plays. Recommended tunes; Me and Heidi, The Electricity in your House wants to sing.

Because Things have not changed.

Imelda Marcos: Still angry after all these years


By DAVID McNEILL
Special to The Japan Times
The beautiful half of one of the 20th century's most notorious dictatorships, Imelda Marcos has spent two decades fighting attempts to jail her and trace a reputed fortune of billions. On the 20th anniversary of the revolution that ousted her and Ferdinand Marcos from power in the Philippines, she talks exclusively about her wealth, their legacy -- and those shoes.


"Poor" Imelda Marcos during her interview at home

Twenty years ago this week, Philippine dictator Ferdinand Marcos and his wife Imelda were settling down to exile in Hawaii, after millions of Filipinos had jeered the couple out of Manila's Malacanang Palace during the so-called People-Power Revolution. Television pictures captured protestors waltzing wide-eyed through the palace's drafty corridors and uncovering Imelda's hoard of 3,000 pairs of shoes in a joyous celebration of the oppressed.

By the time the brilliant ex-lawyer and his beauty-queen wife boarded a U.S. helicopter on Feb. 25, 1986, they had become synonymous with the corruption and cronyism that made the Philippines one of the poorest nations on the planet. To his eternal credit, Marcos ordered his army not to fire on Manila crowds before he left, but then he expected to be back within days. Instead, he was to die in Hawaii three years later, leaving Imelda to carry on the Marcos legacy.

Today, astonishingly, Imelda is back in Manila and again a force in Philippine politics. Many believe the beautiful young country girl who caught the eye of the ambitious Marcos and helped him win a million votes in 1965 was the real power behind the throne by the end of their reign, when Ferdinand was desperately ill. Her political survival "makes a mockery" of the 1986 revolution, according to one of her biographers.

Now living on the 34th-floor suite in one of Manila's most exclusive apartment blocks, the former first lady seldom gives interviews because she is invariably skewered by incredulous journalists when she brandishes her innocence and new poverty. She was, after all, once one of the 10 richest women in the world.

"I am poor not only in material things but in the truth. But I believe the truth will prevail. The truth is god and if you are on the side of truth and god who can stand against you?"

Outside, Manila's smoggy landscape stretches into the distance; inside, the walls groan with original art works: a Picasso here, a Gaugin there. A Michelangelo bust peers over a collection of photographs on the piano showing Imelda in her prime with the great and the good: disgraced U.S. President Richard Nixon plays the piano; Chairman Mao kisses her hand; Japan's Emperor Hirohito stands stiff and helpless beside her retina-burning allure.

Oil paintings even hang in the toilet. "I love beauty and I am allergic to ugliness," she sniffs, as a half-dozen servants in white coats scurry around ministering to her needs. "Beauty is god made real."

Her lawyer Robert Sison explains: "You have to realize that when Mrs. Marcos talks about being poor, she does not mean poor like you or I. She is being relative, compared to the life she used to lead before."

The woman once dubbed the "Steel Butterfly," the beautiful half of the sticky-fingered conjugal dictatorship that ruled the Philippines for two decades of chaos and plunder, is now a doughy 76. Although the famous jet-black bouffant is still stubbornly in place, the beauty that charmed everyone from Henry Kissinger to Pope John Paul II has faded, replaced by a sort of flinty, hard-worked glamour; the once sultry topaz eyes now rheumy and guarded.

Imelda, though, remains enraged at her subsequent treatment. "We found ourselves in Hawaii, penniless, homeless and name-less," she says, slapping the table for emphasis. U.S. Customs records showed the family arrived with nearly $ 9 million in cash, jewelry and bonds.

When Ferdinand died in 1989, aged 72, Imelda had to fight U.S. federal grand jury charges alone: principally that the couple stole over $ 200 million from the Philippine treasury and spent it on a real-estate spree in New York. After enjoying the backing of five U.S. presidents, and the close friendship of Ronald and Nancy Reagan (with whom she shared an interest in astrology), the shock of America turning on her was profound.

"They did this to me when I was alone, widowed and orphaned," she says, on the verge of tears. "Even the Bible says there are special places reserved in hell for those who persecute widows and orphans. And it was not individuals who did me in, it was governments and superpowers."

Though acquitted, few expected Imelda to survive the humiliation of being ditched by the White House, lampooned in the media and chased across the world by prosecutors who accused the pair of plundering the Philippines of $ 10 billion or more. But showing the irrepressible energy and brazenness that made her a legendary force in Philippine politics, Imelda bounced back, returned to Manila in 1992 and won a senator's seat in 1995 after a failed bid for the presidency.

Today, she is again the matriarch of a minor political dynasty. Her son, Ferdinand Jr., is governor of Ilocos Norte Province in the north of the country, where daughter Imee is a congresswoman. Her nephew, Alfred Romualdez, sits in the congressional seat she vacated, and her brother is mayor of Tacloban City. She has been acquitted several times on domestic charges of corruption and extortion and, of the 901 separate cases she claims were filed against her family, she is now down to the last three. Considering her regime was recently ranked as the second-most corrupt (after Suharto's Indonesia) of the late-20th century, it is not a bad end to a life. "I am still standing up at 76, fighting superpowers."

Still, there remains the question of the origins of that mind-boggling wealth in a country where eight out of 10 people live in grinding, $ 2-a-day poverty. Tales of Imelda's bacchanalian extravagance could fill a telephone book: her $ 5 million 1983 shopping spree in New York, Rome and Copenhagen, or the time she dispatched a plane to pick up Australian white sand for the opening of a new beach resort, or her reputation as the world's largest collector of gems. And then the final Marie Antoinette moment, when ordinary Filipinos raided her palace closets after she fled -- to find bullet-proof bras, gallons of perfume and 3,000 pairs of shoes.

Imelda dismisses criticism of her extravagance, saying it was her "duty" to be a star for the poor. "You have to be some kind of light, a star to give them guidelines," she once said. She is adamant that there was nothing ill-gotten about her gains. "My husband was rich before I met him," she protests, dismissing claims that she raided the treasury, squeezed businesses and pilfered World Bank loans to finance their lifestyle. "He was a gold trader. He had a mountain of gold when he entered politics in 1949."

By the late 1950s, Marcos had a personal fortune of 7,500 tons of gold, she claims. "This is the first time I'm telling anyone this." In the 1970s, after gold went up to $ 800 an ounce, the Marcos family, she says, was worth a staggering $ 35 billion when Bill Gates was still a dropout software developer.

Why did the man who professed to love his countryman "like a father loves his children" not give this wealth to the people he ruled? "You can't just give money, you know," explains his wife. "Henry Ford II told me it is hard to make money properly, but harder still to spend money properly. First, he had to make institutions and introduce freedom, justice and democracy."

Marcos' contribution to freedom, justice and democracy was to declare martial law, lock up his opponents and close the few newspapers not already run by his cronies. "The Communists were in the streets and in the gateway of the palace," cries Imelda. But analysts say martial law made radicals out of thousands of ordinary Filipinos. Washington looked the other way, content that Marcos protected U.S. bases and businesses; in 1981, then U.S. Vice President George Bush toasted Marcos at a reception, saying: "We love you, sir, we love your adherence to democratic principles."

Where did it all go wrong? Certainly greed did not help. In the 1980s, the president decided to take over the country's mines, a decision taken, claims his wife, for the sake of "the people."

"He said to me, all of these mines I am not entrusting to anyone except a foundation that will ensure it belongs to the Filipino people to serve as a guarantee for all development programs unto infinity," says Imelda, displaying the curious blurring of the public and private that was a hallmark of their regime.

"When he was president there was no distinction between him and the country and the world in general, because he had three visions: [for him], for his people, for his country. He said: What is good for all is good for me."

Sitting atop his mighty mountain of gold, Ferdinand sent Imelda shopping for New York real estate in the 1980s. After rejecting the Empire State Building (which was going for $ 750 million) as "too ostentatious," Imelda bought the $ 51 million Crown Building, the $ 60 million Herald Center and two more prime slabs of Manhattan. All were subsequently seized and sold, along with much of her jewelry and the bulk of the art she had collected over the years. She still has a glossy catalog of what was taken -- 175 pieces; more Michelangelos, Botticellis, Canelletos.

"They sold them for a song," she laments, flicking through the catalog pages, eyes again brimming with tears. "Why? I had already placed them in a museum. They took it all, including my shoes. But that was my No.1 defense, because when they went to my closet they found no skeletons."

Many of those famous shoes are now on display in the Marikina City Footwear Museum in Manila, which Imelda opened in 2001 in another example of her breathless chutzpah. "The shoe industry of Marakina was worth about half a million dollars and it is now worth $ 100 million or more. The shoe industry I supported is a symbol of gratitude."

Has she cut down on her shoe consumption? "I probably have more now. Everywhere I go, the people give me shoes. I'll end up having more than what they stole from me. I am such an optimist. I believe I'm in heaven."

As proof of her optimism, she outlines her pet projects: a plan to build a tunnel across the center of the country, and the development of hydrogen water power -- a revolutionary clean energy that involves extracting hydrogen from water by splitting the water molecule into oxygen and hydrogen gas, which is then converted into electricity. The seas around the Philippines, she says, have the world's highest concentration of heavy hydrogen -- deuterium. "Our problems are temporary. All I am waiting for is for my lawyers to end these cases against me and I will bring about a new economic order."

On the wall, a poster shows a triangle superimposed over the Philippine archipelago with Gold, Oil and Deuterium at each corner: GOD.

She is bounding around the apartment now, pointer in hand, with the energy of a woman 20 years younger, screening a power-point presentation "proving" that the Philippines was one of the most democratic countries in the world during the Marcos reign. The presentation begins with a mythical Filipino version of Adam and Eve, and concludes with a beatific portrait of her and her late husband. She ends with a flourish: "The bigger we are as human beings the more greedy we become," she says, again slapping a table.

It is not difficult at times like this to imagine the young, naive, fun-loving Visayas beauty dazzled by the ambitious senator Ferdinand Marcos and the jet-set life he promised; much harder to put this tearful, almost childish woman together with the picture painted of her in many biographies. Did she really offer her archrival Benigno Aquino $ 1 million to stay in U.S. exile, then order his 1983 assassination in broad daylight and in front of the world's press when he returned? Would the money she and her husband embezzled really, as many say, pay off the Philippines foreign debt?

And the biggest mystery of all: why have the people who threw her out accepted her back?

"Some people look at the chaos now and think things were probably better then under Marcos," says taxi driver Mike Avila. "He was strong and kept people in line. Things don't seem to have improved much since they left."

Imelda has no doubt that history will be good to her, despite the enormous odds against it. "Why is Mrs. Marcos still accepted by the people? The truth is coming out; the best test for the truth is time. My philosophy in life is that the only things we keep are those we give away. Long after I'm gone, the hospitals I built, the cultural centers, the hotels, the this, the that; many of these things were not built with government funds. It was my creativity. And they will be there after I'm gone."

The Japan Times: Sunday, April 23, 2006

Somewhere Only We Know

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete
Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me?
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

On sudden stroke of cheezyness

Find me in him.
Beyond the skin, to the soul that looks back.
Stare through your mirror of truth.
Find your soul in the reflection of your vivid past.

We haunt, yet we know not.
From the red, sun drenched Summer frozen in that capsule of time,
To the halls of that formidable place where sweet silence echoes loud.
Listen to it, for it's our soul's needle-prick whimpers reaching out.

Non any sweeter than love held back.
Non any painful than reason-fed love.
Non a life more wasted than an unhearkened soul.
It is all but a short journey, nothing to spare and nothing to lose.

On Sudden Rains

It was a rather pleasant morning as I pulled out of the parking lot today, I am early than usual...where my usual means..late. As I near my office, the weather went berserk, dark clouds came in like props. Then it poured, like there were no tomorrow. I was ready to sprint into the building lobby when I saw my officemate signalling me to join her in her umbrella. I ran towards her and joined her in -now I realized, a rather tiny umbrella. As much as we wanted to run, we cant, coz we have o keep pace with each other. We pretty much made it dry at the lobby - well each half of us that is.

As we were drying off I told her she better have her hair ran through tap water to wash away the rain and prevent her from having a cold. Then she asked, is that a Filipino thing? I paused...tried to come up with a smart response then answered , yup!. I really dont know how to make logic out of that thing. From what I learned from my childhood, they say we have to take a shower if we get soaked in the rain...otherwise we will get sick. It is probably the same one as the one that says, "do not sleep with your hair wet, or you'll be blind".

Funny thing is, even the Japanese believe in that sleeping with wet hair thing, although their version results in pulmonary problems when you get old - a little bit less harsh and forgiving than waking up blind...how do you get to wake up blind anyway?? . My point is, things that we were taught by our elders - customs, traditions, folklores, sayings, though unexplainable and sometimes down right absurd, have been there longer than we have been in this world - old practices woven into the fabric of the culture - like a gene that would not go away as it is passed from one generation to another. And just like strong genes, its presence remain because time and time again it has proven itself worthy. One day we might find scientific connections to these practices but until then, I am going to the restroom wet my hair and practice my culture, because there arent much to lose...only problem now is we only have paper towels.

On things that are not as it seems

Dilbert's Principle:
17. After any salary raise, you will have less money
at the end of the month than you did before.

I thought this was a figure of speech...in the lines of: having more money means spending more, until I saw my paycheck. I was already budgeting the extra pay for a digital cable subscription until I realized I'm actually getting less than I had before. How is this possible? Well, it looks liker the pay increase I had just bumped me on a higher income tax bracket and increased everything else tax wise.

It makes sense for the tax-er but its as hell as a bummer for the tax-ee. It means that there will be times that a pay increase is an actual increase and there will be times when all it does is the reverse. What if I request to accept the promotion, put it on record, skip the monetary pay increase and make it a cummulative pay increase later when it actually becomes a plus on my net pay. Probably not in this universe Nelson.

Lumix SLR

What does Panasonic, Matsushita, Leica and Olympus have in common?
Well, soon to have anyway. A brand spanking new SLR.... finally.

I have been a photo buff ever since my mom gave me my first manual camera. ..ye old Canon AE-1.
My second SLR was a Minolta Maxxum which was eventually sold to a friend during a time of need, it was replaced by a Canon Elan 2 which I enjoyed so much playing with its Eye Control thingy...also sold to my buddy when I realized I'm more interested in the story than the quality of the pix - hoping to replace it with a Contax G2 - very small and very retro... but then the digital camera got my attention and I scored my first one with a very crappy $120 ebay camera , (its so crappy cant remember its name) it took approx a week to resell it. I shopped and found a sale at $350, it was a high-end (that time) Casio 1.2 megapixel lunchbox, errr camera. From thereon I have been a very unfaithful camera owner, changing models from time to time. I had the Exilim - too shaky , gave it to my mom, the Kyocera with Contax lens - defunct, sold away. At present I am just having fun with my Lumix FZ5. At 430mm equiv zoom, basic manual controls - I couldnt ask for anything more..well a sharper image perhaps. Nothing is perfect, I had to do away with the picture quality to be able to have a good camera all the time. Thank goodness for pix editing softwares. Anyway, I've dreamt of having a Canon SLR or a Nikon perhaps? (para kay Marvin and his Nikonian philiosophies) , but everytime I try it out - the bulk and weight just turns me off...I want it portable demit.

So, I've got something to drool about again, I hope it aint that big but the specs are really promising; Leica Vario Elmarit lens with (take note) built in stabilizer (yey tripod free) Olympus sonic dust removing thingy working with the Venus III engine (parang spaceship). ..but then It'll probly cost a fortune...sighs, grabs the ol camera' and cleans the lens...hope that helps.

ilaw sa gabing madilim

where can you find these lights?
ok, ok its the Baywalk lights at Malate.

On Protests over Danish Cartoon

This is like a kid saying "Hey Yo momma so big..." ... then the other kid replies..in our house we slaughter anyone who calls momma "big".

Stay in your house kid.

Honored Guests

On my birthday last year, I invited the Queen of England, the Prince of Wales, the Socialites of Paris, the Artists of New York.... and a lot of calebrities and dignitaries..... these are their cars...parked at the grand reception lawn....

On Love

Then said Almitra, Speak to us of Love.
And he raised his head and looked upon the people,
and there fell a stillness upon them.
And with a great voice he said:

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.
 
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you.
Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest
branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them
in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant:
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire,
that you may become sacred bread for God`s sacred feast.
 
All these things shall love do unto you
that you may know the secrets of your heart,
and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life`s heart.
 
But if in your fear you would seek only
love`s peace and love`s pleasure,
Then it is better for you
that you cover your nakedness and
pass out of love`s threshing floor,
Into the seasonless world where you
shall laugh, but not all of your laughter,
and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself,
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed:
For love is sufficient unto love.
 
When you love you should not say,
"God is in my heart," but rather,
"I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course
of love, for love, if it finds you worthy,
directs your course.
 
Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart
and give thanks for another day of loving:
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love`s ecstasy:
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in you heart
and a song of praise upon you lips.

(excerpt from Kahlil Gibran The Prophet)

back to reality

I tried to capture that going-home-on-a-Sunday-night-got-work-tomorrow kinda feeling

Measured by the Inch

I've heard that one can measure one's wealth based on the size of their TV screens. If that's the case, I want a flat panel then...not because Im profoundly drunk with consumerism but rather because of the plain fact that mainland Japan has turned digital and my TV is still very much analog... the devils, they gave me a reason.

In leau of my excitement to get one, I felt sick of this Plasma-LCD wars, much as I am really getting sick of all the proprietary differences of all other things: - Blue ray disc, HD DVD, mp3 - AAC, WMA,.. why cant they just use one freaking format?? dream on...for as long as man is incorporated, greed will be inevitable.

Having to consider if its; digital ready, High Vision , HDTV, TFT and all other acronyms that I dont really give a hoot, I've decided to stick with what I thought casted the best glow on the display booth. I bought a 32 incher AQUOS... I dreamt of a 45 " but since the $4k tag price is still absurd for me, and the shape of things to come are as mysterious as De Kooning's paintings, I decided to get one that would not defunct after a year or so...defunct, I like that word. (remember Sony Clies and Kyocera cameras - went funky dead = defunct). Add the fact that in case TV formats change again into something like digital 2.1 or whatever crap they'd come up with, I could use this one as my computer monitor..whooohooooo a 32 inch PC monitor!! Totally nerdy i like it. I bumped my TV from a 26 inch CRT to a 32 inch LCD, do I feel more successful? You bet.

Brands I swear by

In this flat World we live in ( been readin Friedman's The World is Flat ) , businesses are in a constant frenzy to make sure we keep doing what we love doing - consume. Out of the pile of rubbish products out there, this is my list of "Things and Brands I Swear By, Peksman"

Casio - The G. You might not survive a plane crash but The G-Shock will. A great watch that you can wear around Manila without gettin robbed because its too, well, plastic. Every gadget-man and catastrophy-paranoids should have one.

Doc Martens - When you just cant decide whether to go Friday casual, mall-junkie or whatever lies ahead, the Docs are as rough and refined as any Briton can get. They also last like forever, the Volvo of shoes.

Clorox - cleans anything on contact, i mean anything, this thing is so strong you can actually watch mildew disappear before your eyes. Whitens anything on contact too - most particularly your favorite jeans, shirts and just about every textile you love. The smell, I suggest rinsing really-really well, coz the smell sticks like glue, and you'd end up walkin around smellin like..yup, sperm.

Zwilling Henkels - If you are a cullinary junkie, you will never want to be caught using a dull knife, nor a cheapo one. As Anthony Bourdain puts it - you will be cursed by the kitchen gods if your knife sucks. The knife is a revered instrument for Japanese cooks - where a $2,000 price tag is not unussual. Being the case, JAHenkels plays the chopping board well. Its brittle, so better not use it for fastening screws.

T-FAL - There's a lot of em Teflon covered pans out there, but trust me I've thrown every one of em except for my T-FALS, coz they were the only ones that remained non-stick all throughout.

Pentiums - Twice I had Celeron processors, and twice I've been pissed with it. My recent upgrade was a Celeron D (i thought it meant dual core before) - grinning at the fact that I have 3.2 gigs processing power at a bargain, I felt like my PC is a powerhouse....until I ran games and photoshoped. If you're as much as a nerd as I am, skip Celeron, they keep crashing like its their job.

Made in Japan - anything with this mark seems to top and outlast anything without this mark. I used to tell myself "what's the big deal where it was made??, its the same shit , just different place" ..but I''m now a born-again believer that technology can be transferred, but quality doesnt always come with it.

Leather - Anything leather is beautiful. Being a shoeholic, watchaholic and bagaholic, I have now focused my attention on the upper range of my addiction - yes , leather. They last longer, age beautifully and goes with any fashion statement you're in. Italians still hold this realm, trust them. To authenticate, I've learned to scratch and sniff - if it doesnt scratch its fake, if it doesnt smell like one, then its not. When you suspect a fraud - test burn it, a good 3 seconds wont do leather any harm but would definitely melt faux.

Yoshida Porter Bags - Made by Yoshida & Co. these bags cost like: "two bloody hundred bucks for that!!" , they're often made of plain black textile. Canvass is their signature, but of course its no ordinary one, its as tough as a nail and are made to be passed on to your siblings, and your siblings siblings...whether they like it or not..." Ey Juan, here's a really worn-down canvass bag that I got from your grandfather, you can use it when you go to college"..."oh!, you can also have the Casio after you graduate".

Cupie Mayonaisse and Kikoman Soy Sauce - You havent tasted good mayo til you try this Japanese brand. Sushi aint sushi w/out authentic Jap soysauce.

Sharp,Panasonic, Hitachi and Toshiba (in that order) - The guys that kicked Sony's butt and sent it home with a whimper. It might have taken more than 1 brand to topple Sony's domination of the electronic market, but they sure beat em good. With Sony losing consumers faster than they can pull out their nasty- encoded CDs, this is another lesson in arrogance...no matter how big you are, esp in this new non-boundary info age we live in, you should never piss off consumers.

This list will go on as I further discover more stuff to throw my hard-earned money in. I consume, therefore I am.

Age becometh

Another belief of mine: that everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise.
-- Margaret Atwood, Cat's Eye, 1988

I burned a selection of my favorite 80s music folder and labeled it "You're still listening to that?". I have to , one way or the other , someday, somehow come into terms that I'm getting old.....blink....... every bit of momentary standowns lead to the same generalization - that I'm actually doing things that adults do. I used to wonder why old people love old songs...what's so great about the funky twang of the 70s guitar? Perry Como's hAAAaaaaAAAAA!!!, whats so wonderful about Elvis? .. then one day, a younger friend casually said "Queen is a great "Classic" dude". I almost laughed, but the jolt of reality came faster. My music is slowly easing into the vintage category - I am one of them now, lovers of the past. Add the fact that the only new albums from my favorite groups often begin with: The Best of ......... - and marked 50% off.

Aside from my usual visit to the shoes, watches, bag and electronics sections (a personal agenda on all places that qualifies as a mall). I still visit the Toys section...of course with a snubby pretense that I'm looking for something that is not for me but for a kid I know. As I scan through the rows of my favorite die-cast cars and robot collectibles ....go away already you annoying kids, you cant afford em..I greedily mumble, ... poor old nerd ...they must have been thinkin.

Looking around, I realized that the things I possess havent changed that much, except that now, I actually pay for them and they've just become more expensive.
The liberty of being able to do and buy what you want - this is the only reason I'd never want to be a child again..its fun! Life aint about potholes and suffering shmufferings, its about how much fun you had and you can have...w/out malice of course. I aint gonna live constrained. Freedom!!! FreeeeeeeddOOOOOmmmm!! Life is an inconsolable shiny-happy monster.

Andrew Carnegie. Industrialist, Philantropist.

The U.S. refused to recognize any Philippine right to self-government and on February 4, 1899, Aguinaldo declared war against the United States for denying them independence. Some Americans accused the Filipino nationalists of Jacobinist tendencies, and US government officials repeatedly stated that few Filipinos were in favor of independence, although this conclusion was questioned by some. In the US, there was a movement to stop the war; some said that the US had no right to a land whose people wanted self-government; Andrew Carnegie, an industrialist and steel magnate, offered to buy the Philippines for $20 million and give it to the Filipinos so that they could be free.

I've never heard this from any of my teachers, nor have I ever read its account...until now. I pay tribute to the man and I hope someday Filipinos would know that sometime ago, during US occupation, an American cared for their welfare.

Philippines: Singular or Plural?

I was looking for materials for my NTT studes (ESL lessons), when I chanced on this website that promised to be an English Language website. On one of the lessons, the author tried to explain the use of Definite Articles. He explained: (Italics his)

Remember the rule that countries with two or more parts to their name need
a definite article. This is also true if one part of the country's name is
left unstated:
ex:
The Philippines (the Philippine islands) will get richer soon.

Ok, I spotted something wrong with this example and emailed the webmaster:
To whom it may concern,
The Philippines - is not an unstated form of "The Philippine Islands"
its official name is "The Republic of the Philippines".FYI.
Respectfully, Nelson

from which I got a reply:
Thanks for your point. You are quite right of course in the offical name.
But I think we say "Philippine islands" (no plural) when the reference is
to the seveal thousand islands that make up "The Philippines".
chris

- which just made me a bit annoyed so i replied:
My point is that the word "islands" is not part of the name of my country.
The sample sentence above is referring to the country, not the thousands
of islands that will be getting richer soon (hopefully). Nel

But as resilient as a cheap tsinelas, his reply was:
The reference may be misleading, but the point referred to is the plural 's'
in "The Philippines" - your country is called this with the plural because
it refers to islands, not states as for example in "The United States" - it
may or may not be part of the official name, but the 's' on the end of the
word is because it is a plural. chris

Its getting dumber, so I decided that I'll just give my final comment and leave it all up to him: (putragis na to marunong pa sa may ari eh)

Sir,
First you misquoted the Philippines when you referred to it as "the Philippine islands"in your sample sentence. Then you miss the point that it is a singular noun and not plural .
I assure you, "Philippines" and "The Philippines" is a singular noun, and the "s" is part of the name. if we were communicating 50 years ago I would have agreed with you that "The Philippines" would equally mean "The Philippine Islands", but its 2005 and that's not the case anymore. "The Philippine Islands" is a historical title, a reference to what the country was known before. If you would insist, then we should go back to calling Belize as British Honduras, or Ghana as Gold Coast, or Singapore back to the Stratis Settlements.

Official Name:
Republika ng Pilipinas
short form: Pilipinas
int'l long form: Republic of the Philippines
int'l short form: Philippines

Can you find any "Islands" in the given names above? The "s" is part of the name, not a designation of a plural noun.

You can either read the history of the country or I can point you to Steinberg, David Joel. The Philippines, A Singular and Plural Place. Boulder, Colorado: Westview Press, 2000. Or you can view another grammar website that uses the name as an example of a singular name: http://smccd.net/accounts/sevas/esl/reviewlesson/agree3a.html

And for further clarification:
The Commonwealth of the Philippines constitution remained in effect until 1973. It marked the transition of the nomenclature of the Philippines from the colonial plural ("Islas Filipinas" and "Philippine Islands" of the Spanish and American colonial periods), to the unitary singular, "Philippines" as a sign of unity, sovereignty, and national identity. Respectfully, Nel

I havent received any reply after that, but If he still wouldnt bend to reason...there's always the all-reliable pinoy way to settle a dispute -a brawl. ..which can lead to "ubusan ng lahi", to international dispute..to the US invading the Philippines and since we only have WWII planes against the Stealths and Raptors hence we can always smile and say Mabuhay Ser!! "Welcome to the Philippine Islands". kamote.

The Ghost at San Agustin Church

For I remember walking through the cold, familiar halls, I was with someone who wasnt there.

As we stepped and blened through the shadows, our last setting sun we shared.

I turned to the bench that waited for two, but today, there was just one to take the offer.

The saints whisphered "where is she, where is she?" , I replied, here, inside me.

Hard to see, but she was there that day... I wish, I wish she'd go away.

Episode III (Taxi 3)

I was thinking of a satired Star Wars title for my third and final article about my lampooned vacation, but it just wouldnt fit... Taxi - the movie, now that's really an action-packed, mind-perplexing- B movie- in-all-its- glory that I'd love not to see again, entertaining and silly... just like the story that goes like this...

There's an old saying that if you come back to the place where you became a man, you will remember all those things you need to be happy... That saying never made sense to me, but I thought it was worth a try.
-- Henry Bromel, Northern Exposure

I went out with my buddy and his family to Star City - an amusement center in Roxas Blvd.... Insert reminiscing scene here....back then, when the world was young and Michael Jackson was still black, Yuletide was rejoined by the opening of these huge carnivals, there was "Payanig sa Pasig", "Big Bang sa Alabang"... we were hoping for a "Dagundong sa Mandaluyong" but that was only wishful thinking. These "peryas" (fairs) used to have freak shows like "See the Incredible Mermaid caught in Palawan" - she's not always pretty, but probaby because of Western influences, she must always be doned in her long-golden-wavy hair that is teasingly arranged to cover her nipples (double-sided tape?) and wearing a not-so-convincing fish outfit on the lower half of her body. it was actually my first exposure to live nudity. I think freak shows are wicked. Anyway, the big unpaved carnivals were always packed, the lines stretched to oblivion, the machines were rusty and forebearing but we didnt care, "never postpone happiness" was our motto. These places used to be the highlight of Christmas, one can never be complete without being able to share these experiences with friends. You misss it, you're a loser.

Anyway, back to the present, So there I was, hoping to get a slight feel of the past...waiting...still waiting...hold on...dang, its just not the same anymore. Hellooow, maybe because its May and its brutally hot, or maybe because the whole place is cemented, or because the mermaid show is gone, or maybe the worst of all my fears have come...Im an ADULT...ngiii..shivers. Star City was probably nice when it was new. But now, I wont vouch for it unless you have a good tolerance for stench. The rides were more for kids. The thing I enjoyed however was the "Chicharon Bituka" stall (deep fried crunchy pig intestines) ..barbaric? not until you try one! this treat, in all its greatness is the ultimate source of bad fat, it has a smell that only fish sauce users can love. Dipped in spicy vinegar ~ Nirvana ~.

The ride home was actually the one that thrilled me the most. Here was a cab with 3 adults and 3 children inside, zig-zagging at land speed record on the narrow and dark streets of Sta.Ana. At every intersection and corners I was unconsciously pushin my non-existent brake pedals. The car's winkers are relatively useless in Manila as no one uses them. Finally when I cant take it anymore, i blurted to the driver "buddy, I really dont understand why there is a need to hurry, are we chasin somethin?" ... of which I got a stone-face reply. We took another cab.

Taxis, bus, jeepneys, private vehicles, everyone drives like mad. Amazingly though, there are not much accidents , I agree that this may be because Filipinos are very good in swerving and squeezing in tight spaces, but it is a grave mistake to brand that as good driving. Good Drivers have discipline, they follow the rules, even with ot without the element of punishment. Good driving is not just about good handling of a vehicle but more of being mindful of everything else outside the vehicle like pedestrians, other vehicles and traffic order.

The driving attitude in Manila relatively reflects the attitude of the Filipino as a culture; everyone wants to be ahead, everyone wants to beat the pack, everyone will grab any opportunity - it doesn't matter that others may be harmed as long as it benefits them. In Manila a driver would flash their headlights to another vehicle to indicate "Im going first" , In Japan this is the same signal for "you go first" - an exact contrast. Discipline is not related to being rich nor poor, educated or not... it is a universal gesture for Courtesy and Respect...maybe its because when we were young, we were taught to respect our parents and the elders, they did not mention though that we were supposed to respect everybody else too. Paraaa , sa tabi na lang po.

Moments of Decision

A feather landed on your girlfriend's shoulder:

A. You pick it out and show it to her and say "hey, look you're turning into an angel"
B. You pick it out and show it to her and say "hey, look you're turning into a chicken"

If you choose:
A - this means you are a hopeless romantic...and bloody boring.
B - this means you are full of fun and you dont know the aftermath of this comment. Be prepared.

Nelis Milkfish (To the tune of Kelis' Milkshake)

My Milkfish brings all the pinoys to the yard, and they're like , more bayabas than yours, Damn right more bayabas than yours, I can give you but I have to charge.

First Aid

+ Problem: Sleepy probably
Symptoms: Twitching Eye
Cure: 3M clear tape
Indication: Cut an inch of 3M Office Standard clear tape, plaster half to eye lid, other half to eyebrow.
Contraindication: In case twitching persist, secure more tape around eye. In events where boss or snooping co-workers suddenly jumps from behind like they always do, immediately raise hand to forehead as if having a headache. Repeat procedure when necessary.
Precaution: Do not pull out tape quickly, this action will cause severe humiliation as patient walks around with a half shaved eyebrow.

Episode 2 (A bag full-o' Clones)

From a country far, far away.....the second episode of my vacation...

I had it all scheduled from day one, first of course was my visit to my father's grave..."you should've waited", I stubornly told him for the nth time..again. Then a courtesy call to relatives and friends... amazing thing, Time is, ..fat, bald, sexy, ugly, kinder, meaner...everybody changed.
Then to the task at hand - Shopping, what's a visit to PI without going to the malls. Megamall is still damn huge, no matter how long I stayed in it, I always leave with my satisfaction meter half empty...dont start on me with that half full thingie, its always gonna be half empty. My cousin, who was also vacationing from LA said, "look at 'em, its 3pm, its mid-week, and they're all here...so...jobless." I giggled...pause....hmmm...that's sad. It must have been the heat. I gave up Megamall, too many people, too little time.

Off to Greenhills, where anything that is less..is the price, and the quality. Its imitation heaven...like eBay, except its real. Who cares, as my best friend puts it " it doesnt matter if you're wearing the authentic one or not, because in Manila, fakies are so common that most of the time people would think you're wearing a fake, even if its the real thing." At Greenhills the game is all about knowing how to spot good forgeries and haggling, talents I believed I am very good at.

I bought a $25.00 Armani bag, the saleslady said its real leather, i didnt mind the brand, I only wanted a leather bag...two days later the seams split and revealed a very not-so-leather inner Iining. The DVD movies I bought, when played, had tiny silhouette heads bobbing around, add the laughing crowd in the echoing sound and It beats Dolby Surround in realism- like you're really there..inside the theater that is. An Anti-Virus program I bought didnt even have anything in it, the list goes on. Its was all like buying an Ipod, that broke, and when you tried to pry it open, revealed a mini a cassete recorder inside..double whammy.

"You moron", my buddy tells me as I closed with what I thought was a good deal. All The tell-tale signs of a deceitful sale was there: the speed at which my item was wrapped as soon as i offered my price, the look of glee from the other sales ladies and the frenzy to show their other stuff made me realize my buddy was right. I caught on it later... when the price gets right, they act as if the sale would be a loss on their part, this keeps the haggling nailed within that price and then they act like bitterly giving in, buyer feels happy he outsmarted them. Stupid buyer.

One should take this as the final lesson when going cheap. Fakes are fakes, it will always get back at you with a frustrating reminder that when you go with forgeries you also expose yourself to its meaner cousins: Lies and Deceit. ...makes me wanna spell it deceipt...That is the risk I took and I cant complain because I was an accessory to the crime. Quality comes with a premium. In the long run, I think I actually spent more for things that I used only once because it broke, already in bad shape or just plain unbearably ugly now. Stupid buyer.

Episode 1 (The panting menace)

From Okinawa to Taipei at a perfect 26 degrees....Manila Airport...the last door on the way out ...final baggage number check...as I stepped out from the last guard, the last continuity of my flight, whoooshhh the heat~~~ tangina and inniiiiiitttt!!!!!!! (sonofabitchy hottt!!!(I dont curse..but this time it was even an understatement).

Well, its Manila's way of saying "welcome my prodigal son, welcome to the hard reality of your past". "Sir mineral water??" a stranger blurted. "Taxi Sir??" I nodded, "Thank you Sir...a few gifts from your kindness would suffice for our mid-day snack"..the porter said in a rehersed tone. I gave him $2.00. As I eased myself in the cab, I requested for the AC to be in full blast, the driver replied "todo na po ser" (its in the max sir, ..honorifics included) then a funky slogan plays in the radio "kailangan pa ba ime-morize yan"..then the slogan is rejoined with a jingle.... a jingle that will eventually haunt me to all my taxi-riding days in Manila. Day one, objective: get to my buddy's place before i get killed with the high-speed, non-regulated driving in EDSA, or dehydration... whichever comes first.

New Order / Waiting for the Siren's Call


They're back!! they might be gramps now but heck you cant tell the difference. I heard "Krafty" when I was shopping at a shoe depo and I was like.. eyyy thats my band...(like its mine)...which album?? ... then it struck me...could it be... no, really could it be???

As soon as I got home I frantically searched for NO fresh released album...and there it was. Dernit! Its been more than 25 years... i wonder what their grandchildren think...grampa has a techno what??? or...my grampa plays the bass in New Order..cool!! and these guys can still kick techno-post punk music. I immediately scheduled my after-work hours to a CD quest at Book Box or Tsutaya Music for this album...dang! in Japan...what are the chances of them havin it....zero.

Luckily, this week my girlfriend went on one of her Tokyo trips, having access to US mil PX, she managed to find it..fforward >>... After downloading it to my iPod, I let it blow on my PC speakers ...whew, unmistakenly New Order, the familiar bass melody and rhytm guitar, the techno punk effects, electronic drum beats and that close-to-wailing-off-tune voice of Bernard Sumner. It was just like any other NEW Order album, un-aging, worth every penny, uneasy to get sick of and fun...its like "Techno-kids, I am your Father" music.

I cant share my glee enough with my peers...what peers?? Im in Japan. Im surrounded by older-than-me people who thinks Hawaiian music is Jazz, I have a few younger-than-me friends... but they think anything from the 80s is a Classic. Suddenly I find myself in my mom's shoes as she tries to convince me that the Beatles is the coolest ever. period.

The Cure, New Order...the 80s - this was my era. .. as the 60s, 70s, 90s, etc. .were for other people. My music is welded in me, no matter how good the old were and the new ones become, the music that I grew up with will always be the best. It doesnt just bring me back old memories, it confirms my bonafide membership to the world...which there was an era I can proudly say that I belong. Confirming Existence. Check.