Somewhere Only We Know

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete
Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me?
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

On sudden stroke of cheezyness

Find me in him.
Beyond the skin, to the soul that looks back.
Stare through your mirror of truth.
Find your soul in the reflection of your vivid past.

We haunt, yet we know not.
From the red, sun drenched Summer frozen in that capsule of time,
To the halls of that formidable place where sweet silence echoes loud.
Listen to it, for it's our soul's needle-prick whimpers reaching out.

Non any sweeter than love held back.
Non any painful than reason-fed love.
Non a life more wasted than an unhearkened soul.
It is all but a short journey, nothing to spare and nothing to lose.

On Sudden Rains

It was a rather pleasant morning as I pulled out of the parking lot today, I am early than usual...where my usual means..late. As I near my office, the weather went berserk, dark clouds came in like props. Then it poured, like there were no tomorrow. I was ready to sprint into the building lobby when I saw my officemate signalling me to join her in her umbrella. I ran towards her and joined her in -now I realized, a rather tiny umbrella. As much as we wanted to run, we cant, coz we have o keep pace with each other. We pretty much made it dry at the lobby - well each half of us that is.

As we were drying off I told her she better have her hair ran through tap water to wash away the rain and prevent her from having a cold. Then she asked, is that a Filipino thing? I paused...tried to come up with a smart response then answered , yup!. I really dont know how to make logic out of that thing. From what I learned from my childhood, they say we have to take a shower if we get soaked in the rain...otherwise we will get sick. It is probably the same one as the one that says, "do not sleep with your hair wet, or you'll be blind".

Funny thing is, even the Japanese believe in that sleeping with wet hair thing, although their version results in pulmonary problems when you get old - a little bit less harsh and forgiving than waking up blind...how do you get to wake up blind anyway?? . My point is, things that we were taught by our elders - customs, traditions, folklores, sayings, though unexplainable and sometimes down right absurd, have been there longer than we have been in this world - old practices woven into the fabric of the culture - like a gene that would not go away as it is passed from one generation to another. And just like strong genes, its presence remain because time and time again it has proven itself worthy. One day we might find scientific connections to these practices but until then, I am going to the restroom wet my hair and practice my culture, because there arent much to lose...only problem now is we only have paper towels.

On things that are not as it seems

Dilbert's Principle:
17. After any salary raise, you will have less money
at the end of the month than you did before.

I thought this was a figure of speech...in the lines of: having more money means spending more, until I saw my paycheck. I was already budgeting the extra pay for a digital cable subscription until I realized I'm actually getting less than I had before. How is this possible? Well, it looks liker the pay increase I had just bumped me on a higher income tax bracket and increased everything else tax wise.

It makes sense for the tax-er but its as hell as a bummer for the tax-ee. It means that there will be times that a pay increase is an actual increase and there will be times when all it does is the reverse. What if I request to accept the promotion, put it on record, skip the monetary pay increase and make it a cummulative pay increase later when it actually becomes a plus on my net pay. Probably not in this universe Nelson.

Lumix SLR

What does Panasonic, Matsushita, Leica and Olympus have in common?
Well, soon to have anyway. A brand spanking new SLR.... finally.

I have been a photo buff ever since my mom gave me my first manual camera. ..ye old Canon AE-1.
My second SLR was a Minolta Maxxum which was eventually sold to a friend during a time of need, it was replaced by a Canon Elan 2 which I enjoyed so much playing with its Eye Control thingy...also sold to my buddy when I realized I'm more interested in the story than the quality of the pix - hoping to replace it with a Contax G2 - very small and very retro... but then the digital camera got my attention and I scored my first one with a very crappy $120 ebay camera , (its so crappy cant remember its name) it took approx a week to resell it. I shopped and found a sale at $350, it was a high-end (that time) Casio 1.2 megapixel lunchbox, errr camera. From thereon I have been a very unfaithful camera owner, changing models from time to time. I had the Exilim - too shaky , gave it to my mom, the Kyocera with Contax lens - defunct, sold away. At present I am just having fun with my Lumix FZ5. At 430mm equiv zoom, basic manual controls - I couldnt ask for anything more..well a sharper image perhaps. Nothing is perfect, I had to do away with the picture quality to be able to have a good camera all the time. Thank goodness for pix editing softwares. Anyway, I've dreamt of having a Canon SLR or a Nikon perhaps? (para kay Marvin and his Nikonian philiosophies) , but everytime I try it out - the bulk and weight just turns me off...I want it portable demit.

So, I've got something to drool about again, I hope it aint that big but the specs are really promising; Leica Vario Elmarit lens with (take note) built in stabilizer (yey tripod free) Olympus sonic dust removing thingy working with the Venus III engine (parang spaceship). ..but then It'll probly cost a fortune...sighs, grabs the ol camera' and cleans the lens...hope that helps.

ilaw sa gabing madilim

where can you find these lights?
ok, ok its the Baywalk lights at Malate.

On Protests over Danish Cartoon

This is like a kid saying "Hey Yo momma so big..." ... then the other kid replies..in our house we slaughter anyone who calls momma "big".

Stay in your house kid.

Honored Guests

On my birthday last year, I invited the Queen of England, the Prince of Wales, the Socialites of Paris, the Artists of New York.... and a lot of calebrities and dignitaries..... these are their cars...parked at the grand reception lawn....

On Love

Then said Almitra, Speak to us of Love.
And he raised his head and looked upon the people,
and there fell a stillness upon them.
And with a great voice he said:

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.
 
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you.
Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest
branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them
in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant:
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire,
that you may become sacred bread for God`s sacred feast.
 
All these things shall love do unto you
that you may know the secrets of your heart,
and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life`s heart.
 
But if in your fear you would seek only
love`s peace and love`s pleasure,
Then it is better for you
that you cover your nakedness and
pass out of love`s threshing floor,
Into the seasonless world where you
shall laugh, but not all of your laughter,
and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself,
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed:
For love is sufficient unto love.
 
When you love you should not say,
"God is in my heart," but rather,
"I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course
of love, for love, if it finds you worthy,
directs your course.
 
Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart
and give thanks for another day of loving:
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love`s ecstasy:
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in you heart
and a song of praise upon you lips.

(excerpt from Kahlil Gibran The Prophet)

back to reality

I tried to capture that going-home-on-a-Sunday-night-got-work-tomorrow kinda feeling

Measured by the Inch

I've heard that one can measure one's wealth based on the size of their TV screens. If that's the case, I want a flat panel then...not because Im profoundly drunk with consumerism but rather because of the plain fact that mainland Japan has turned digital and my TV is still very much analog... the devils, they gave me a reason.

In leau of my excitement to get one, I felt sick of this Plasma-LCD wars, much as I am really getting sick of all the proprietary differences of all other things: - Blue ray disc, HD DVD, mp3 - AAC, WMA,.. why cant they just use one freaking format?? dream on...for as long as man is incorporated, greed will be inevitable.

Having to consider if its; digital ready, High Vision , HDTV, TFT and all other acronyms that I dont really give a hoot, I've decided to stick with what I thought casted the best glow on the display booth. I bought a 32 incher AQUOS... I dreamt of a 45 " but since the $4k tag price is still absurd for me, and the shape of things to come are as mysterious as De Kooning's paintings, I decided to get one that would not defunct after a year or so...defunct, I like that word. (remember Sony Clies and Kyocera cameras - went funky dead = defunct). Add the fact that in case TV formats change again into something like digital 2.1 or whatever crap they'd come up with, I could use this one as my computer monitor..whooohooooo a 32 inch PC monitor!! Totally nerdy i like it. I bumped my TV from a 26 inch CRT to a 32 inch LCD, do I feel more successful? You bet.

Brands I swear by

In this flat World we live in ( been readin Friedman's The World is Flat ) , businesses are in a constant frenzy to make sure we keep doing what we love doing - consume. Out of the pile of rubbish products out there, this is my list of "Things and Brands I Swear By, Peksman"

Casio - The G. You might not survive a plane crash but The G-Shock will. A great watch that you can wear around Manila without gettin robbed because its too, well, plastic. Every gadget-man and catastrophy-paranoids should have one.

Doc Martens - When you just cant decide whether to go Friday casual, mall-junkie or whatever lies ahead, the Docs are as rough and refined as any Briton can get. They also last like forever, the Volvo of shoes.

Clorox - cleans anything on contact, i mean anything, this thing is so strong you can actually watch mildew disappear before your eyes. Whitens anything on contact too - most particularly your favorite jeans, shirts and just about every textile you love. The smell, I suggest rinsing really-really well, coz the smell sticks like glue, and you'd end up walkin around smellin like..yup, sperm.

Zwilling Henkels - If you are a cullinary junkie, you will never want to be caught using a dull knife, nor a cheapo one. As Anthony Bourdain puts it - you will be cursed by the kitchen gods if your knife sucks. The knife is a revered instrument for Japanese cooks - where a $2,000 price tag is not unussual. Being the case, JAHenkels plays the chopping board well. Its brittle, so better not use it for fastening screws.

T-FAL - There's a lot of em Teflon covered pans out there, but trust me I've thrown every one of em except for my T-FALS, coz they were the only ones that remained non-stick all throughout.

Pentiums - Twice I had Celeron processors, and twice I've been pissed with it. My recent upgrade was a Celeron D (i thought it meant dual core before) - grinning at the fact that I have 3.2 gigs processing power at a bargain, I felt like my PC is a powerhouse....until I ran games and photoshoped. If you're as much as a nerd as I am, skip Celeron, they keep crashing like its their job.

Made in Japan - anything with this mark seems to top and outlast anything without this mark. I used to tell myself "what's the big deal where it was made??, its the same shit , just different place" ..but I''m now a born-again believer that technology can be transferred, but quality doesnt always come with it.

Leather - Anything leather is beautiful. Being a shoeholic, watchaholic and bagaholic, I have now focused my attention on the upper range of my addiction - yes , leather. They last longer, age beautifully and goes with any fashion statement you're in. Italians still hold this realm, trust them. To authenticate, I've learned to scratch and sniff - if it doesnt scratch its fake, if it doesnt smell like one, then its not. When you suspect a fraud - test burn it, a good 3 seconds wont do leather any harm but would definitely melt faux.

Yoshida Porter Bags - Made by Yoshida & Co. these bags cost like: "two bloody hundred bucks for that!!" , they're often made of plain black textile. Canvass is their signature, but of course its no ordinary one, its as tough as a nail and are made to be passed on to your siblings, and your siblings siblings...whether they like it or not..." Ey Juan, here's a really worn-down canvass bag that I got from your grandfather, you can use it when you go to college"..."oh!, you can also have the Casio after you graduate".

Cupie Mayonaisse and Kikoman Soy Sauce - You havent tasted good mayo til you try this Japanese brand. Sushi aint sushi w/out authentic Jap soysauce.

Sharp,Panasonic, Hitachi and Toshiba (in that order) - The guys that kicked Sony's butt and sent it home with a whimper. It might have taken more than 1 brand to topple Sony's domination of the electronic market, but they sure beat em good. With Sony losing consumers faster than they can pull out their nasty- encoded CDs, this is another lesson in arrogance...no matter how big you are, esp in this new non-boundary info age we live in, you should never piss off consumers.

This list will go on as I further discover more stuff to throw my hard-earned money in. I consume, therefore I am.

Age becometh

Another belief of mine: that everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise.
-- Margaret Atwood, Cat's Eye, 1988

I burned a selection of my favorite 80s music folder and labeled it "You're still listening to that?". I have to , one way or the other , someday, somehow come into terms that I'm getting old.....blink....... every bit of momentary standowns lead to the same generalization - that I'm actually doing things that adults do. I used to wonder why old people love old songs...what's so great about the funky twang of the 70s guitar? Perry Como's hAAAaaaaAAAAA!!!, whats so wonderful about Elvis? .. then one day, a younger friend casually said "Queen is a great "Classic" dude". I almost laughed, but the jolt of reality came faster. My music is slowly easing into the vintage category - I am one of them now, lovers of the past. Add the fact that the only new albums from my favorite groups often begin with: The Best of ......... - and marked 50% off.

Aside from my usual visit to the shoes, watches, bag and electronics sections (a personal agenda on all places that qualifies as a mall). I still visit the Toys section...of course with a snubby pretense that I'm looking for something that is not for me but for a kid I know. As I scan through the rows of my favorite die-cast cars and robot collectibles ....go away already you annoying kids, you cant afford em..I greedily mumble, ... poor old nerd ...they must have been thinkin.

Looking around, I realized that the things I possess havent changed that much, except that now, I actually pay for them and they've just become more expensive.
The liberty of being able to do and buy what you want - this is the only reason I'd never want to be a child again..its fun! Life aint about potholes and suffering shmufferings, its about how much fun you had and you can have...w/out malice of course. I aint gonna live constrained. Freedom!!! FreeeeeeeddOOOOOmmmm!! Life is an inconsolable shiny-happy monster.

Andrew Carnegie. Industrialist, Philantropist.

The U.S. refused to recognize any Philippine right to self-government and on February 4, 1899, Aguinaldo declared war against the United States for denying them independence. Some Americans accused the Filipino nationalists of Jacobinist tendencies, and US government officials repeatedly stated that few Filipinos were in favor of independence, although this conclusion was questioned by some. In the US, there was a movement to stop the war; some said that the US had no right to a land whose people wanted self-government; Andrew Carnegie, an industrialist and steel magnate, offered to buy the Philippines for $20 million and give it to the Filipinos so that they could be free.

I've never heard this from any of my teachers, nor have I ever read its account...until now. I pay tribute to the man and I hope someday Filipinos would know that sometime ago, during US occupation, an American cared for their welfare.

Philippines: Singular or Plural?

I was looking for materials for my NTT studes (ESL lessons), when I chanced on this website that promised to be an English Language website. On one of the lessons, the author tried to explain the use of Definite Articles. He explained: (Italics his)

Remember the rule that countries with two or more parts to their name need
a definite article. This is also true if one part of the country's name is
left unstated:
ex:
The Philippines (the Philippine islands) will get richer soon.

Ok, I spotted something wrong with this example and emailed the webmaster:
To whom it may concern,
The Philippines - is not an unstated form of "The Philippine Islands"
its official name is "The Republic of the Philippines".FYI.
Respectfully, Nelson

from which I got a reply:
Thanks for your point. You are quite right of course in the offical name.
But I think we say "Philippine islands" (no plural) when the reference is
to the seveal thousand islands that make up "The Philippines".
chris

- which just made me a bit annoyed so i replied:
My point is that the word "islands" is not part of the name of my country.
The sample sentence above is referring to the country, not the thousands
of islands that will be getting richer soon (hopefully). Nel

But as resilient as a cheap tsinelas, his reply was:
The reference may be misleading, but the point referred to is the plural 's'
in "The Philippines" - your country is called this with the plural because
it refers to islands, not states as for example in "The United States" - it
may or may not be part of the official name, but the 's' on the end of the
word is because it is a plural. chris

Its getting dumber, so I decided that I'll just give my final comment and leave it all up to him: (putragis na to marunong pa sa may ari eh)

Sir,
First you misquoted the Philippines when you referred to it as "the Philippine islands"in your sample sentence. Then you miss the point that it is a singular noun and not plural .
I assure you, "Philippines" and "The Philippines" is a singular noun, and the "s" is part of the name. if we were communicating 50 years ago I would have agreed with you that "The Philippines" would equally mean "The Philippine Islands", but its 2005 and that's not the case anymore. "The Philippine Islands" is a historical title, a reference to what the country was known before. If you would insist, then we should go back to calling Belize as British Honduras, or Ghana as Gold Coast, or Singapore back to the Stratis Settlements.

Official Name:
Republika ng Pilipinas
short form: Pilipinas
int'l long form: Republic of the Philippines
int'l short form: Philippines

Can you find any "Islands" in the given names above? The "s" is part of the name, not a designation of a plural noun.

You can either read the history of the country or I can point you to Steinberg, David Joel. The Philippines, A Singular and Plural Place. Boulder, Colorado: Westview Press, 2000. Or you can view another grammar website that uses the name as an example of a singular name: http://smccd.net/accounts/sevas/esl/reviewlesson/agree3a.html

And for further clarification:
The Commonwealth of the Philippines constitution remained in effect until 1973. It marked the transition of the nomenclature of the Philippines from the colonial plural ("Islas Filipinas" and "Philippine Islands" of the Spanish and American colonial periods), to the unitary singular, "Philippines" as a sign of unity, sovereignty, and national identity. Respectfully, Nel

I havent received any reply after that, but If he still wouldnt bend to reason...there's always the all-reliable pinoy way to settle a dispute -a brawl. ..which can lead to "ubusan ng lahi", to international dispute..to the US invading the Philippines and since we only have WWII planes against the Stealths and Raptors hence we can always smile and say Mabuhay Ser!! "Welcome to the Philippine Islands". kamote.

The Ghost at San Agustin Church

For I remember walking through the cold, familiar halls, I was with someone who wasnt there.

As we stepped and blened through the shadows, our last setting sun we shared.

I turned to the bench that waited for two, but today, there was just one to take the offer.

The saints whisphered "where is she, where is she?" , I replied, here, inside me.

Hard to see, but she was there that day... I wish, I wish she'd go away.

Episode III (Taxi 3)

I was thinking of a satired Star Wars title for my third and final article about my lampooned vacation, but it just wouldnt fit... Taxi - the movie, now that's really an action-packed, mind-perplexing- B movie- in-all-its- glory that I'd love not to see again, entertaining and silly... just like the story that goes like this...

There's an old saying that if you come back to the place where you became a man, you will remember all those things you need to be happy... That saying never made sense to me, but I thought it was worth a try.
-- Henry Bromel, Northern Exposure

I went out with my buddy and his family to Star City - an amusement center in Roxas Blvd.... Insert reminiscing scene here....back then, when the world was young and Michael Jackson was still black, Yuletide was rejoined by the opening of these huge carnivals, there was "Payanig sa Pasig", "Big Bang sa Alabang"... we were hoping for a "Dagundong sa Mandaluyong" but that was only wishful thinking. These "peryas" (fairs) used to have freak shows like "See the Incredible Mermaid caught in Palawan" - she's not always pretty, but probaby because of Western influences, she must always be doned in her long-golden-wavy hair that is teasingly arranged to cover her nipples (double-sided tape?) and wearing a not-so-convincing fish outfit on the lower half of her body. it was actually my first exposure to live nudity. I think freak shows are wicked. Anyway, the big unpaved carnivals were always packed, the lines stretched to oblivion, the machines were rusty and forebearing but we didnt care, "never postpone happiness" was our motto. These places used to be the highlight of Christmas, one can never be complete without being able to share these experiences with friends. You misss it, you're a loser.

Anyway, back to the present, So there I was, hoping to get a slight feel of the past...waiting...still waiting...hold on...dang, its just not the same anymore. Hellooow, maybe because its May and its brutally hot, or maybe because the whole place is cemented, or because the mermaid show is gone, or maybe the worst of all my fears have come...Im an ADULT...ngiii..shivers. Star City was probably nice when it was new. But now, I wont vouch for it unless you have a good tolerance for stench. The rides were more for kids. The thing I enjoyed however was the "Chicharon Bituka" stall (deep fried crunchy pig intestines) ..barbaric? not until you try one! this treat, in all its greatness is the ultimate source of bad fat, it has a smell that only fish sauce users can love. Dipped in spicy vinegar ~ Nirvana ~.

The ride home was actually the one that thrilled me the most. Here was a cab with 3 adults and 3 children inside, zig-zagging at land speed record on the narrow and dark streets of Sta.Ana. At every intersection and corners I was unconsciously pushin my non-existent brake pedals. The car's winkers are relatively useless in Manila as no one uses them. Finally when I cant take it anymore, i blurted to the driver "buddy, I really dont understand why there is a need to hurry, are we chasin somethin?" ... of which I got a stone-face reply. We took another cab.

Taxis, bus, jeepneys, private vehicles, everyone drives like mad. Amazingly though, there are not much accidents , I agree that this may be because Filipinos are very good in swerving and squeezing in tight spaces, but it is a grave mistake to brand that as good driving. Good Drivers have discipline, they follow the rules, even with ot without the element of punishment. Good driving is not just about good handling of a vehicle but more of being mindful of everything else outside the vehicle like pedestrians, other vehicles and traffic order.

The driving attitude in Manila relatively reflects the attitude of the Filipino as a culture; everyone wants to be ahead, everyone wants to beat the pack, everyone will grab any opportunity - it doesn't matter that others may be harmed as long as it benefits them. In Manila a driver would flash their headlights to another vehicle to indicate "Im going first" , In Japan this is the same signal for "you go first" - an exact contrast. Discipline is not related to being rich nor poor, educated or not... it is a universal gesture for Courtesy and Respect...maybe its because when we were young, we were taught to respect our parents and the elders, they did not mention though that we were supposed to respect everybody else too. Paraaa , sa tabi na lang po.

Moments of Decision

A feather landed on your girlfriend's shoulder:

A. You pick it out and show it to her and say "hey, look you're turning into an angel"
B. You pick it out and show it to her and say "hey, look you're turning into a chicken"

If you choose:
A - this means you are a hopeless romantic...and bloody boring.
B - this means you are full of fun and you dont know the aftermath of this comment. Be prepared.

Nelis Milkfish (To the tune of Kelis' Milkshake)

My Milkfish brings all the pinoys to the yard, and they're like , more bayabas than yours, Damn right more bayabas than yours, I can give you but I have to charge.

First Aid

+ Problem: Sleepy probably
Symptoms: Twitching Eye
Cure: 3M clear tape
Indication: Cut an inch of 3M Office Standard clear tape, plaster half to eye lid, other half to eyebrow.
Contraindication: In case twitching persist, secure more tape around eye. In events where boss or snooping co-workers suddenly jumps from behind like they always do, immediately raise hand to forehead as if having a headache. Repeat procedure when necessary.
Precaution: Do not pull out tape quickly, this action will cause severe humiliation as patient walks around with a half shaved eyebrow.

Episode 2 (A bag full-o' Clones)

From a country far, far away.....the second episode of my vacation...

I had it all scheduled from day one, first of course was my visit to my father's grave..."you should've waited", I stubornly told him for the nth time..again. Then a courtesy call to relatives and friends... amazing thing, Time is, ..fat, bald, sexy, ugly, kinder, meaner...everybody changed.
Then to the task at hand - Shopping, what's a visit to PI without going to the malls. Megamall is still damn huge, no matter how long I stayed in it, I always leave with my satisfaction meter half empty...dont start on me with that half full thingie, its always gonna be half empty. My cousin, who was also vacationing from LA said, "look at 'em, its 3pm, its mid-week, and they're all here...so...jobless." I giggled...pause....hmmm...that's sad. It must have been the heat. I gave up Megamall, too many people, too little time.

Off to Greenhills, where anything that is less..is the price, and the quality. Its imitation heaven...like eBay, except its real. Who cares, as my best friend puts it " it doesnt matter if you're wearing the authentic one or not, because in Manila, fakies are so common that most of the time people would think you're wearing a fake, even if its the real thing." At Greenhills the game is all about knowing how to spot good forgeries and haggling, talents I believed I am very good at.

I bought a $25.00 Armani bag, the saleslady said its real leather, i didnt mind the brand, I only wanted a leather bag...two days later the seams split and revealed a very not-so-leather inner Iining. The DVD movies I bought, when played, had tiny silhouette heads bobbing around, add the laughing crowd in the echoing sound and It beats Dolby Surround in realism- like you're really there..inside the theater that is. An Anti-Virus program I bought didnt even have anything in it, the list goes on. Its was all like buying an Ipod, that broke, and when you tried to pry it open, revealed a mini a cassete recorder inside..double whammy.

"You moron", my buddy tells me as I closed with what I thought was a good deal. All The tell-tale signs of a deceitful sale was there: the speed at which my item was wrapped as soon as i offered my price, the look of glee from the other sales ladies and the frenzy to show their other stuff made me realize my buddy was right. I caught on it later... when the price gets right, they act as if the sale would be a loss on their part, this keeps the haggling nailed within that price and then they act like bitterly giving in, buyer feels happy he outsmarted them. Stupid buyer.

One should take this as the final lesson when going cheap. Fakes are fakes, it will always get back at you with a frustrating reminder that when you go with forgeries you also expose yourself to its meaner cousins: Lies and Deceit. ...makes me wanna spell it deceipt...That is the risk I took and I cant complain because I was an accessory to the crime. Quality comes with a premium. In the long run, I think I actually spent more for things that I used only once because it broke, already in bad shape or just plain unbearably ugly now. Stupid buyer.

Episode 1 (The panting menace)

From Okinawa to Taipei at a perfect 26 degrees....Manila Airport...the last door on the way out ...final baggage number check...as I stepped out from the last guard, the last continuity of my flight, whoooshhh the heat~~~ tangina and inniiiiiitttt!!!!!!! (sonofabitchy hottt!!!(I dont curse..but this time it was even an understatement).

Well, its Manila's way of saying "welcome my prodigal son, welcome to the hard reality of your past". "Sir mineral water??" a stranger blurted. "Taxi Sir??" I nodded, "Thank you Sir...a few gifts from your kindness would suffice for our mid-day snack"..the porter said in a rehersed tone. I gave him $2.00. As I eased myself in the cab, I requested for the AC to be in full blast, the driver replied "todo na po ser" (its in the max sir, ..honorifics included) then a funky slogan plays in the radio "kailangan pa ba ime-morize yan"..then the slogan is rejoined with a jingle.... a jingle that will eventually haunt me to all my taxi-riding days in Manila. Day one, objective: get to my buddy's place before i get killed with the high-speed, non-regulated driving in EDSA, or dehydration... whichever comes first.

New Order / Waiting for the Siren's Call


They're back!! they might be gramps now but heck you cant tell the difference. I heard "Krafty" when I was shopping at a shoe depo and I was like.. eyyy thats my band...(like its mine)...which album?? ... then it struck me...could it be... no, really could it be???

As soon as I got home I frantically searched for NO fresh released album...and there it was. Dernit! Its been more than 25 years... i wonder what their grandchildren think...grampa has a techno what??? or...my grampa plays the bass in New Order..cool!! and these guys can still kick techno-post punk music. I immediately scheduled my after-work hours to a CD quest at Book Box or Tsutaya Music for this album...dang! in Japan...what are the chances of them havin it....zero.

Luckily, this week my girlfriend went on one of her Tokyo trips, having access to US mil PX, she managed to find it..fforward >>... After downloading it to my iPod, I let it blow on my PC speakers ...whew, unmistakenly New Order, the familiar bass melody and rhytm guitar, the techno punk effects, electronic drum beats and that close-to-wailing-off-tune voice of Bernard Sumner. It was just like any other NEW Order album, un-aging, worth every penny, uneasy to get sick of and fun...its like "Techno-kids, I am your Father" music.

I cant share my glee enough with my peers...what peers?? Im in Japan. Im surrounded by older-than-me people who thinks Hawaiian music is Jazz, I have a few younger-than-me friends... but they think anything from the 80s is a Classic. Suddenly I find myself in my mom's shoes as she tries to convince me that the Beatles is the coolest ever. period.

The Cure, New Order...the 80s - this was my era. .. as the 60s, 70s, 90s, etc. .were for other people. My music is welded in me, no matter how good the old were and the new ones become, the music that I grew up with will always be the best. It doesnt just bring me back old memories, it confirms my bonafide membership to the world...which there was an era I can proudly say that I belong. Confirming Existence. Check.

On being John Malkovich

Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich. Malkovich? Malkovich, Malkovich!
Posted by Jerry Kindall on April 19, 2004 at 1:05 PM

Jerry, thanks for the "Being John Malkovich" reference. That made me laugh out loud.
PS, Oh, and in answer to your statement: Malkovich; Malkovich...Mal-kovich, dammit!
Posted by Jim on April 19, 2004 at 1:30 PM

Office Defibrillators

I have always wanted to do this, hold em heart-starter thingies, rub em together and say "clear!!"...glance at monitor and say "damnit man, we're losing him",... "clear!!!..bzzzzttttttt~.

We have that thing installed in the hallway. Its a bright funky-green gadget housed in a "break glass in case you have to bring a dead person to life" box. But Lo! Before you decide to break the glass you have to at least be certified to operate that thing. They dont want you to be zapping dead people's butt or other body parts, or worse frying them unintentionally.

Ok, I agree with that...but suppose some lame guy suddenly dropped dead in front of me, do I:
A.Give him CPR... ewww ..good thing I'm not certified.
B.Call 911, the nearest hospital is about 4km..too late.
C.Run around the building looking for that certified defibrillator prick...if there is one.
D.Drag his lifeless butt near the "Automated External Defibrillator" , break glass open and apply electrocution process...with joy.
E. Stay put, act like you thought he just fell asleep (literally).

If I'm wise enough I'd probably choose E. This seems to be the most weasel-like of the choices, threfore would land me in a safe-unblameable position.To free myself from guilt, I'd probably enrol myself in the "How to pronounce Automated External Defibrillator and Cardio Pulmonary Rescucitation Course"...next time same incident happens, I'll be a tad bit ready. Technology...and ignorance wont do much.

A steady night shot, full apperture opening, zoomed from the 3rd floor, reflecting light from parking lot. 

Joining the transparent background project, Nelson proves that if one nerd can do it, so can the rest. 

Puzzling Dream

The dream started when I saw myself with a rocket-propelled grenade aimed at a convoy of renegade trucks, I squeezed the trigger and hit a big truck which was piggy-backing an old red volkswagen beetle. Realizing the grave stupidity of my action: any moment now the foot soldiers will definitely find the perpetrator...umm that would be..me! fuck the others, i ran for my dear life... I took the river trail, dogs cant sniff me out from there i was thinking..then I remembered something...ummm I felt I left something, what was it??...Ooops, my girlfriend. She is in the secret room of the house. I went back...was caught...held hostage or prisoner of war, and here is the interesting part: As I was being pushed around the house, I came face to face with the "secret door that leads to the secret room" Instinctively I would have looked or touched it , but I didnt because I was strictly focused on thinking what were they up to in letting me wander around the house freely. In a flash, I realized they were trying to find the secret door just by observing my movements. So with my quick wit I glanced blankly everywhere not giving any reaction to anything.

The dream went crazy after this, with my officemates joining the hostages, then they decided to re-design the curtains of the house, cellphones were confiscated except for mine because the rebel leader (who happened to be a gorgeous fashion designer) liked me., a tsunami hit, the building collapsed, I visited an old elementary classmate who was part of the hostage crisis and was rattled awake because damn its 0630 uggh! gonna be late for work.

As I recalled the dream while driving on the way to work I realized something. Characters in our dreams are made by our minds, they think and act according to what we know, believe and think. But why, o why didnt I know that trick. I have no recollection where I got this idea of finding out clues by observing a persons action. Ive never been to boot camp, never been in the military and the closest I got to any counter intelligence stuff is by watching spy movies. That was something new I learned there. Freaks me out this dream. It was fluid, fast and impromptu. Dreams are freaky but this one has got me thinking.

On Feet

She's wearin strap sandals today... and there it was, gorgeous feet... the most gorgeous feet I have ever seen. Jap-white complexion, and I'll be darn if it aint well cared for coz it really looks almost buttery. I aint got any feet fetish whatsoever, but when i saw her feet during lunch ..It was so attractive.. i wanted to put it on my plate...strange thing what this "Attraction" does, but feet??

On Empathy

Here are two contrasting issues; Terri Schiavo and the overwhelming publicity it is getting, the other, the truth of other deaths taking place.

For quite a while a lot of people (in the US primarily) were into this empathic-frenzy over the fate of one vegetative-state patient. Suddenly it seems like everyone cared about the life of one individual. People flocked the hospital to show their support, they called on the President, the Governor, the Senate, they threatened, they cursed, they prayed, they wept ..they were gadamn gonna be there to save the life of Terri. Empathy.

Time magazine, March 14, 2005; "There are 8 million people a year who die just because they too poor to live". Now, in the light of all this mumbo-jumbo I see something plain...These people flocked to show their concern on the life of one, one who never needed it... but ignored the call of 8 million souls begging for help. Hypocrisy.